Happy New Year!!!!

He who called you will do it because he is faithful.
1 Thessalonians 5:24

Finally, we are about to get to the new year...

Despite all that has happened in our lives, we can testify that God has been faithfully to get us this far. The last week has been particularly hard for me as i have had to bite my tongue seeing as i had made a resolution...

Which brings me to my next point. I think sometimes resolutions do more harm than good. For example when you resolve to do something and fail to do so and you are unable to do so you feel worse than you did before.

But still there is no harm in planning ahead for your life and having something to work towards.Just make them reasonable and inspiring to help you look forward to waking up every morning. Try to be happy and guard your heart against anything that will compromise your health and happiness.

If you were doing anything last year and you weren't getting any results then its time to change strategy. Because you know what they say if you keep doing what you have been doing you will keep getting what you have been getting. Which is crazy if you think about it. Things are hard now in Kenya but we will make it through like we always have.

Stay away from procrastination which will undermine any progress your making in any area of your life

Remember to pray often...

Play hard, worked harder, love more and laugh often.
I wish you all the best. May you find happiness and all that your heart desires.
Happy New Year. God Bless you!

Misfits

So i had this brilliant idea to make my kid sister read 'The Catcher and the rye' and in return i could watch any movie she chose for me. Of course she refused to read the book saying it's boring(what can a woman do to make these kids read these days?)

Anyway the movie she chose for me was 'MISFITS'. At first i was a bit skeptical because it started out as the usual act of nature happening an people(a couple of delinquent young adults doing community service) getting super powers blah blah blah. But as it progressed it got really funny not mentioning their British accents. My favourite character is Nathan he is both annoying and amusing at the same time.

He is so disgusting that it ain't even funny but if you find time please watch a couple of episodes and you will see what i mean. It's so funny how everyone but him sees whats wrong with him except him. The triple-myself story made it so hard for me to watch the movie while eating, so whatever you do don't bother eating while watching, yes,that includes popcorns too. Trust me it won't go down well.

Below is a small part to give you a taste of what it is all about.LMAO

Merry Christmas everyone

I have had the best day with family...well almost...
See the idiot baker in out village ruined our cake...check it

I remember asking for a "Merry Christmas"written on top of the cake but this dude decided to do it his way. But because its christmas i won't be a B. Any hoo check out this Christmas photos that made me almost pee in my pants.ha ha ha

santa done lost his mind.lol.

and this

do it upside down

loved this one from pepsi

save the knickers

Forget the panda, forget the white rhino, it's the knickers that you should be saving. I mean people are always trying to save the wild animals and all, how about saving something for a woman for a change? Look what they have done to the knickers??

Remember what they did to the petticoat? First they shortened it, then halved it

and before we knew it BAM- it was gone!
Save the knickers i say...

boys, y u no let us keep the knickers?

It was love at first read. How did i know it was love you ask? i felt it deep in my pants.lol. The time was 1500hrs, the place was my village salon. What was i going to do there? i was going to get my roots done(read was going to put peroxide on my nappy hair to make it straight like(insert any straight thing here) because my mama and my mentor thought my afro won't land me any jobs as i wont be taken seriously*which i think is bull, but then again who am i to bite the hand that feeds me*) I was a bit nervous as i had had horror stories of people dying in the drier or going bald after their scalp got burned by the chemicals.

Then i picked up the issue of TRUELOVE and thanks to fate i immediately turned to the back where there was an article by Biko. The funniest thing is i thought that Biko was South African, don't ask me why because all i know was that day was the best day of my life, i never even felt the peroxide burning my scalp until the next day when i woke up with red burn scars along my hairline.

From then on i started going to the salon frequently just to read the articles at the back by Biko until i came a long a blog that led me to another blog that had his blog, bikozulu.wordpress.com on the blog roll where i have been trying to catch up with his earlier articles. I can't decide which is funnier, the articles or the arguments in the comments section. I swear Kenyans are hilarious! What i don't get though is how some people can hate on him and he writes so beautifully. I mean the dude can write about a goat or amoeba and still manage to be funny as hell.

He even made me watch the TV series MADMEN because he kept quoting it all over the place. When i first watched it on KTN i kinda hated it from the first episodes. I found it way too serious as it explored the complex relationship between husband and wife which made me think way too much. And the weird conversations between guys at the office..BORING! And the dude playing Mozart with his trouser zipper..really? But because Biko loved it, now i love it too...yeah yeah...yeah...am a stalker.sue me. If he says i go jump in a lake, i will go jump(If that ain't love then i don't know what love is!)

Sometimes i feel like adding my comments or send an email but i have seen all the requests he gets in the comments section that am afraid to add to this already busy list. It's sorta like in DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES when Bree's dentist husband went to a party and as soon as he said he was a dentist people start opening their mouth showing him all their teeth problems and asking for diagnosis. Gross! So am guessing wherever Biko goes people are always like please look at my blog blah..blah..blah...He even provides his email for people to reach him, i mean how cool is that? I have never seen any veteran writer do that. So how could i not fall in like with him people? how could i not? The fact that he is the first dude i have "met"who admits to having read 'The catcher in the rye' is just icing on this cake.

I have bookmarked his blog on my phone. I read it in the loo, at the salon,at the bank queue, at K.P.L.C., at church(well i almost did, the pastor locked eyes with me and i logged off immediately)I sleep with Biko and wake up with him on top of me (the phone i mean you perv.lol)I can't wait to catch up with the other readers(read groupies). The stories that i remember the most are abandoned, Amoeba and Beetles and goodbyes. I have even kept my favourite knickers which i had planned to throw on stage when he eventually comes to the local college in my village to give a talk on writing( a girl can dream can she?). That was until i read the article Where Biko expresses his hatred for knickers and it broke my heart. Biko cut me...he cut me real deep! Then i got to the comments and the Knicker-bashing fest continues...

I love knickers. Especially the big ones that reach all the way up above my mokonyo(to help tame my wild pouch) and extend all the way down to cup my ass. It helps reduce the jiggling and hide them dimples. Don't get me wrong, i love dimples, just not on the ass.

But why do men hate the knickers so much though? I mean what did knickers ever do to you except keep the you-know-what safe for you huh? You see big women like me need all the support they can get. As an old spinster everything isn't where it used to be, they are all going south(if you know what my mean). All a girl wants is support, is that too much to ask? I hate thongs, the only time i will ever wear them is on my feet(thong sandals). Its called a string damhit(G-string). Would you wear a string on your body? I didn't think so!Try walking around with a string up your ass and tell me how it feels. I mean...

I have put peroxide in my hair just for you men

I wear a bra that supposed to be wonderful and had circulation around my bossom constricted(explains why older women suffer from breathing related diseases) just for you.

I shave places that the sun don't shine and suffer from itchy ingrown hair just for you.

I scrub my face with some granules just for you

I damn near choked on the fumes from nail polish removers and cutex(you know what i mean) just for you

I walk around sucking in air and holding in my stomach all to give me the illusion of a flatter stomach just for you

I even brush my teeth twice a day to manage my mild halitosis just for you

I trim my uni brow with tweezers (which hurts like a mf)twice a month just for you

I have even put another woman's hair(weaves) on my head just for you

I have had my hair braided so tight it gave me Chinese eyes just for you

Damhit! i have even squeezed into my kid sisters clothes just for you guys

I sleep with a slimming belt and can't even dream or snore like i used to just for you

There's a chunk of meat missing in my ear where i put my earrings, i did it just for you.

Recently i have picked up skipping rope to loose the fat around my abdomen just for you.

I am going to change my last name for you and carry an alien in my uterus just for you

I will even endure the stretch marks post pregnancy just for you candy yams

Is it too much to ask that i keep the knickers pebbles? pretty please...

would you please stop trying to be my friend already?

A friend(noun)- is someone who you know, like and trust.

I have just read this story where this rich woman saw some poor kid playing with a worn out toy car and decided to buy him a new one. He was so happy that the woman felt compelled to buy him lots of toy cars. During the next visit, she found him playing with his worn out car again. When she asked him why he didn't want to play with the other new once, he simply said,"I don't know how to love a lot of things". Well tonight ladies and gentlemen i admit that I, like the small boy , don't know how to love a lot of things. But for the purposes of this blog, make it i don't know how to love a lot of people. I know my pastor will cringe when he hears me say this.

Its like there is this new wave that is making people feel the need to be friends. your boss wants to be your friend and hang out at the bar, your mother wants to be your friend to share secrets and moshene, your wife wants to be your friend so that you can go shopping together, Your Ex wants to be friends(wtf?), your boyfriend wants to play PS with you and watch football together while you'd rather go watch paint dry or lick your elbows.I have had it up to here(points neck) with that bs.

Personally i think six close friends are enough, you don't have to go around making friends all over the place. Your only obligation to mankind is to be civil to each other and love one another which i think you can do wherever you are. I love Andrea3000 but do you see me going on twitter tryna be his friend? NO!

Women especially are guilty of this.

Always wanting to exchange phone numbers so as to continue friendships. I have so many phone numbers on my phone than i don't know what to do with. Last weekend i was in Kisumu and i hang out with great people, when it came time to leave...yes, the phone numbers ritual started. Now i get phone calls from people who i have nothing in common and have to go through torture as i try to make conversation on the phone. Because apart from the function that brought us together we really don't have anything else to talk about. Now for the love( of anything sacred) please stop trying to be everybody's friend. no, seriously stop!

Now if i have to go through another awkward phone call again and pretend i care am going to kill myself.gawd!

the real reasons why we won't date the good guy

The superman syndrome
This especially gets my goats and makes me wanna go settle at the bottom of the ocean...for real though. Had this great male pal who was always buying me uplifting music, getting me encouraging books...which at first i thought was cute until i discovered he was tryna fix me. Like i wasn't good enough to date so he had to fix me first. (O.k. i have come undone but that's beside the point)We want a boy friend..not a therapist. We have girlfriends for that. This especially a common trait in Christian over-saved boys(if you have never seen an over saved person, then you are the over saved person). You can't save all of us good boys, you can't undo the wrong your fathers and brothers have done to the girls. Just take us as we are and live one day at a time and ignore the chip on our shoulders, with time it will begin to disappear. Try not to step on the emotional land mines and make as explode into big smoke of emotions(gawd! with phrases like this i should have finished my novel already)You can't fix someone, that's for them to do it. You can pour the wine into the jars brethren but only our dear Lord can turn it into wine.


You are nice to everyone
Most nice guys are good to everyone. They are surrounded by lots of friends which include beautiful women with whom you will have to compete for attention. What they do for you they do to everyone so it really hard to know if they like you. Some guy in college used to hang out with me and my girls all the time.He later started acting weird and one of his boys accused me of breaking his heart and honest to God i had no idea. We had never hang out just the two of us and he never ever said anything. So how was i supposed to know? If you like a girl you have to do for her something that you don't usually do to other people...no not that dufus...get the gutter off your mind.

You are not really a good guy, you are just acting
There are good guys and GOOD GUYS! I have read a lot of blogs by dudes whining about how they are nice guys but don't seem to be able to wife a chic.Personally i know nice guys who are not even aware they are nice guys. Good is not what you do, is who you are. Some guys just act nice hoping they will get rewarded for their niceness. Like all good actors sometimes they forget their lines and their true nasty selves come out. Women can get that nasty vibe from you and will stick around for the favours but never give you their hearts. Be nice for niceness sake not because you expect chics to trip over themselves falling for you. Real nice guys don't even know they are good. If you refuse a guys advances and he starts acting like an ass, he was never a nice guy to begin with.

You don't say what you want
Some guy friend of mine was being nice to this chic hoping she will notice that he loves her. When i asked him if he told her how he felt but he said no as he expected the chic to see for herself. I know we women have great instincts but we are no psychics, we can't read your mind. Say what you want clearly and articulately so that we don't get it twisted.Put it all out there...

Too good to be true
I have a friend who is annoyingly nice. He lets me get away with everything, i can call him at anytime of the day and he is always spiffy. I can't point any weakness in him and i have never seen him angry and that to me is abnormal. How can someone be so perfect? Compared to me he's an angel. If he ever asks me i will definitely say no, maybe because i feel i don't deserve him or maybe i think he is pretending to be nice to win me over in which case i will be really pissed when we get together and i discover he a monster,so why even go there? Chelewa for some dates, say no to a woman sometimes, speak your mind, have an opinion. For crying out loud when we do something wrong be mad and express it in words!

If i date you things will change
When a guy is wooing you he is always nice and agreeable and everything is perfect. That is the reason why women play hard to get for long, don't let them tell you different. As soon as you fall for him and get into the relationship routine the nice stuff stop coming. You become part of the furniture in his house. We are always afraid that if we say yes all the privileges will be withdrawn because now you have us where you want. Most of my friends who are married tell me how the mzee stops trying to do the nice little things he used to do. If we hold out for long, we will get to enjoy the pampering for a little longer.

He is a welcome home door mat
Most good guys don't have cohones.They let everybody walk over them from family, friends, boss etc. this is the kind of guy who won't protect you when his family or friends start meddling in your personal affairs. When you get together with him people will assume you are alike and will start walking all over you too. He will skip dates to hang out with the boys, he will use the family emergency fund to bail out a friend, your children will be indisciplined as he won't back you up, your house will become a casino where you will be entertaining guests from Monday to Sunday all because your our Mr.right doesn't know how to say no.

blu ray

Look what somebody did to Ray Charles. Why? oh Why?

celebrity couples

we all know these celebrity couples that look so good together

Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker
Married in May 2005. Have two kids daughter Sophie and son Nicholas. Have struggled with their daughter who suffers from a condition called spina bifida and managed to stay close as a family.

Seal and Heidi Klum
Met when Heidi was pregnant then later got married in May 10, 2005.
They have three biological kids together Henry born2005, Johan 2006 and daughter Lou in 2009.

Jimmy and Cathy Gathu
Married for over 10years and are in the lime light but have managed to make it work

Barrack and Michelle Obama
They are now a household name. Got married in october 1992 blessed with two daughters Malia born 1998, Natasha in 2001

Nameless and Wahu
Both well knowm artists met in college. Married in september 2005, have one daughter Tumiso Nyakweya

Denzel and pauletta Washington
Married in June 1983 blessed with four kids. Over twenty years together in hollywood is quite an achievement which is more than we could say for Kardashian.

JayZ and Beyonce
Dated for over five years and married secretly in April 2008 and are currently expecting their first child.

Will smith and Jada Pinkett
One of the most celebrated couples in the world although there has been rumours of them splitting up but stll they look good together. They got married in 1997. They have two biological children together. Jayden born 1998 and Willow born in 2000

Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi
They got married on 16th August 2008 at Ellens home in Beverly hills. Aren't they adorable????

Snoop Dogg and Shante Taylor
I can't believe i forgot these two. They were high school sweet hearts got married in May 21, 2004. They separated then reconciled later. They have three kids corde, cordell and cori. I love his reality show Snoop Dogg's fatherhood

V BOZEMAN

Have you ever had something so good that you couldn't tell nobody? That keeping it to yourself feels so wrong...yet telling it is also wronger?

I dunno..like a tattoo on your bum...or a new cute under wear...or something?

Well today it happened to me. I stumble upon something that gave me the goosies(read goose bumps) and i didn't know if its ok to put it here but what the hell...

Ladies and gentlemen,gays and bi's, boys and girls, kids and pets...I introduce to you Veronika Bozeman who sings like an angel with the body of a goddess.

The video is a bit nawty, so just appreciate the creativity behind(omg i said behind.lol) and have an open mind.Please have a listen...



What made me love her even more is that she loves Shirley Caesar. Anybody who loves Shirley is cool with me.

Apart from being a singer she doubles up as a model. Isn't she gorgeous?

Every time i searched for her the name Timothy Bloom keeps coming up...mmmmhh! I wonder why...

Any ways for more information check out www.visionsofv.com or www.thatgirlv.com.
goodday

of vampires and bad boys

i know ...i know ...you are tired of listening to me going on and on about vampires but i can't stop myself..is like my fingers are possessed...somebody stop me.Or not! Today i compare vampire's behaviour to bad boy's. For ladies only!!!

They enter the house only when invited
You allowed the bad boy in your life. Don't blame anyone.

Shape shifts into other creators
Notice how he could be gentle and sweet one minute and an ass hole the next minute?

They are sensitive to light, don't come out during the day or take photos
He hates PDA's, never wants to be seen with you in public.sounds familiar?

Has no reflections in the mirror
He leaves and there is no evidence of him being there, no toothbrush, no shirt,nada!

Must sleep on the soil of his native land
Explains why he leaves/or makes you leave before the sun comes up.

Repelled by garlic
He don't want your cooking.He don't want to play house with you!

Hides during the day and are more active at night
Notice how he is always looking for you at night but never during the day.

Repelled by holy symbols: crucifix, rosary or holy water
They are creatures of darkness and most of them don't believe in God coz they think they are gods.

Heightened sense of hearing
Explains why they can discern your moods and know what to say to reel you in.

Vampires are people who died violent deaths
Every bad boy has a bad history of hurt, broken homes, girl who broke his heart..etc

Hate silver
Explains why he don't want to put a ring on it.

Both have breath taking looks and are as sexy as hell
thats why they were able to get your attention in the first place.

When they bite you you become a vamp too
Don't ask me how but once a chick dates a bad boy they become bad too.

They are cold to touch with eyes hollow with no life nor warmth
They don't have souls, thats why they can hurt you without batting an eyelid.

They are strong without working out.Pretty much conquered death and achieved mortality. See how they live on the fast lane coz they think they are gonna live forever.

have powers to control your mind
Thats how they get you to do stuff you would not ordinarily do.

They need blood to survive
Being with him is so draining emotionally and sometimes financially.

Inspires fear in everyone
Explains why you are unable to leave him

Tafakari hayo
ta ta

who is your daddy?

...Mother's baby, father maybe...

Ladies and gentlemen am going to tell you something every parent should tell their kids in this century. Never, ever, ever, ever ask any body the above question.yes. 'who is your daddy' unless you are married to that person and she is of the female persuasion and you are engaging in some "senior relations".

Let me give you a short(read long) story before i get back to this.
You see as an old spinster, most of my friends are either engaged, married or are with child right now as we speak. So one day i decided to accompany one of my BFF's to the Department of Registry of births and Deaths(cant remember the right word) #blondealert. The queue was long... the office had no windows...we were so close to each other we exchanged epithelials... the guard at the customers desk kept shoving us around to get us into our queues.

Anyway we managed to finish everything by three in the afternoon after going in at 10am. At least it was not as bad as in KRA. When we came back the next day, the geniuses as gotten the name of the baby wrong. I know there's a difference between 'Wanjiru' and 'Wanjiku'. So we were sent to another room for corrections and the lady told us to wait. Me being the moshene that i am struck up a conversation with the lady next to me. Apparently they had written 'BRAIN' instead of 'BRIAN'. who does that? only in Kenya people! only in Kenya! So i craned my neck to look at the father's section and i saw this XXXXXXX. Again me and my big mouth shouted, "those people have gotten the name of the father wrong too". I would have gone on if my pal hadn't pinched me on my thigh to remind me to shut it. Later on i was told that's what they do when the girl refuses to give up the sperm donors name. really? how about NON APPLICABLE? MIA? ZERO? NADA? I dunno something more interesting.

So see people never ask anyone about their fathers as there are alot of people being raised by single mothers and where there's a father, most of the time he is there but never really there...you get what i mean?

I remember during my teaching practice i worked with this guy who was always in chaos. No chalks, lesson plans always missing...always confused until one day i went cold turkey on his ass. He later shared with me how when he was young his mother got married so many times, he changed his last name so many times that he forgot what his first last name was. He tells me his real dad's face is now a blur. Whenever his mama had an argument with the new father they would run with their little belongings in the a plastic bag until his mama falls in love again. All this story i got to know all because i just had to open my big mouth and ask "who is your daddy"

A few days again i was joking to some guy that its about time he took me home to see his parents. This is how the small conversation went...

Him: I cant
Me: Can't or Won't?
Him: i just cant.
Me: why? am i not good enough for your parents?
Him: er ...they are dead.

...awkward silence...

Now i have promised my self to never ever ask any body about their fathers unless they volunteer and i would advice you to do the same. Some of the stories are gut wrenching i tell you.
ta ta
ta ta lovely people

hello December! we have been expecting you.

Happy new month people! At least i hope it is for you...yours truly has malaria and the flu combined.

...Again cue the violins people...

Right now as i speak i have about 7tablets in front of me staring at me as i gather the courage to ingest them. Find a happy place...Vicky...find a happy place...the tablet is your friend...the tablet is your friend...

I've read the side effects(someone please tell me why i do this to myself?) There's diarrhoea, nausea and vomiting... The wait for it...low sex drive. duh! When you got body rejects coming from both ends i doubt any man would like to be within a radius of 2meters around. You see how they run for cover when the red robot comes? Or how they whiz past the sanitary towels counter like its going to bite them? And of course feeling sexy is the last thing on your mind!

Anyway the sky has not fallen. i will be well.this malaria won't defeat me.I am a malaria survivor. ok now am just being stupid.
goodnight lovely people.

fight your own way

David strapped Saul’s sword over the armour and tried to walk, but he couldn’t, because he wasn’t used to wearing them. “I cant fight with all this, “he said to Saul. I’m not used to it. So he took it off.
1samuel 17:39

If like me you got lots of friends, you always have people telling you how to live your life. If you share your problems they are quick to offer solutions (like yours truly, I have the answers to everything). They mean well but when all is said and done it all boils down to what works for you. What you’re comfortable to do. What worked for your friend may not necessarily work for you. Let people advice you but never let them decided for you. Same for relationships: Don’t compare your spouse, your mother, sister etc to your neighbours (you know what they say the grass is always greener on the other side and you want it and you haven’t even seen their water bill.lol). Do what works for you. Every relationship is unique, Don’t worry if you don't look like the next couple you don’t have to.

If it's at work, school, church just give it your best and be your original you. I watched the interview on cross over101 a few months ago and mary atieno-ominde put it nicely. Get inspiration from everywhere/anywhere but never forget to be original you. Don’t be a copy cat, people will see right through you. In this life, when you die you are alone, you will face your maker alone. Its all about you never forget
that.

choose your battles

David asked the men who were near him, “what will the man get who kills this philistine and frees Israel from this disgrace?

He turned to another man and asked him the same question, and every time he asked, he got the same answer.
-Samuel 17:26, 30

I am the first born in a family of five. If you are a first born like me, you know all the pressures of being a first born. When we were younger we were assigned chores but the funniest thing is that if none of them was done I got the ass whooping. As a first born I was required to lead people into doing house works. My parents forgot I was a child too(not a short adult) and being made to lead was too much pressure on my young body. This meant that I had no time to be a kid (explains why I am currently suffering from late-adolescence.)

I can’t tell you how many times I fought with the kids to get them to do stuff. I could argue with them and end up doing the work. Until some dude laid on some information on me-How come you bother complaining and you are going to do it yourself. Why don’t you just go straight to doing it finish and go on to the next. Just choose your battles. It was one of the best lessons I learnt in life. It saved me a lot of energy and breath. I started doing house chores alone without asking for help to this date. I don’t care who is in the house. I just do it. If anyone cares to do work they do it if they don’t want to its o.k. too. Good thing I no longer get mini-heart attacks over trivial stuff.

In life you have to choose your battles. Not everything is meant to be fought. You just need to let some things slide. Someone told me to act a fool sometimes. Remember in RUSH HOUR when Jackie Chan said sometimes its good to be quiet to know just how full of BS some people are.lol. Like David always ask your self “what will I get from doing this”, if there’s no pay-off don’t bother.

Some battles are fought by silence; we all just need to learn to STFU. In the bible it says

…in silence so is my strength…

Let people think you are weak for doing nothing but secretly a war is being won.

I have to come to a point in my life if anyone calls and start beefing with me over the phone I just hang up. If I get bad texts I don’t answer back, it’s just not worth my time or my airtime. Most of this people don’t have the guts to tell you face to face they hide behind the phones. Remember the sulking story I told you in the previous blog? That guy won even without going to marriage counseling.

This week just learn to choose your battles.

nobody is perfect, except God

When my kid sister (the last born) was around three years old, she woke up in the middle of the night complaining of a stomach ache. She was rushed to hospital where my mother was informed that it was pneumonia. After six hours there was no improvement she decided to seek second opinion where she was told that it was her appendix and asked for permission to operate and they did.

Months later the same thing happened and my mum went for a third opinion and the asshole of a doctor decided that it was the appendix acting up. My mum was now confused. I mean how many appendixes (sp) does a human being have???

After moving from doctor to doctor my mama found out that my sister had sickle cell anemia and the doctor then proceeded to treat her and to this date she is still my sister’s doctor. Even her school has her number. If she has any crisis they just call her and she always come whenever she is needed (she’s awesome, her name is Njoki btw) my mama always tells her to insist on being called Dr.Njoki. She is now the daughter she never had but always wanted.lol

Sickle cell is simply (ok there’s nothing simple about it) an inherited genetical disorder whereby the Red Blood Cells instead of being round and smooth to allow ease of moving through blood vessels they are stiff and form the shape of a sickle. Instead of the sickle-like RBC's living for the usual 120days they die after 10-20days. They die faster than the body can get rid of them. They then cluster together and cannot easily move through the blood vessels causing blockage (fyi they can block anywhere. Men… I mean A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E) and stops movement of oxygen carrying blood. So the patient has a chronic short supply of red blood cells which causes anaemia. The blockage can cause pain ANYWHERE in your body without warning. For my sister it has always been her hip bones and jaundice. Her bone under the x-ray machine looks like that of a 70-80 year old man. I remember my mum going to get her pain medicine and the dude at the chemist wishing my dad a quick recovery of his hip. Ouch! Theres no cure but my mum got off the internet that there’s some bone marrow surgery that can help but the downside is that you can die on the table. It’s 50/50 and expensive as hell and I think it’s not yet available in Kenya. It’s at the experimental stages. I don’t know where she read it but am too afraid to look. But that discovery gives my mum so much hope that I haven’t voiced my concerns over the possibility of death. It’s too much to think about.

My other sister has been confirmed as being a sickle cell anemia carrier. She has never had malaria in her life because of this. Now she not only has to worry about some jackass breaking her heart, she has to worry if he is a carrier too. Now when does she whip out the information after the first date? second? six month? Life is so damn hard sometimes.

btw anyone about to get married please go for genetics counseling along side your pre-marital counseling- thank me later!

I have watched my mama go in an out of hospital with her and that’s why the Rose (the girl with cancer) story touched me so much. I remember some idiot joking over the internet how she is being coached to say stuff and shit. People can be so mean and cruel. Sickle sick has changed my family in so many ways but it’s manageable so I can’t even begin to imagine what Rose’s mother is going through. All Rose and her family is tryna do is fight for her life and get her money for chemo and I bet if it was any of you you’d do the same if not more. This one time my sister came home and told us how some kid at school said she was going to die(i hate google sometimes).Gawd! Some of the things that come out of peoples mouths sometimes. Isn’t there anything sacred any more to these people?

But I didn’t intend to digress, I just thought I’d get that out of the way…It was burning my conscious and I couldn’t let it go till I got it out! My message today is that people aren’t perfect. These doctors for example sometimes don’t know what they are doing all of the time. But we look at them with so much hope that they feel the need to come up with answers even if they don’t have them in order to justify their importance/salary. . Like how I found out that my optician is driving me blind slowly and I didn’t even know. Giving me glasses at a tender age of 13 and giving me powerful lenses than necessary. Now I can’t see without my glasses. People are not perfect they might (not might..they will) fail you someday.

That’s why we all need to find strength from somewhere else; we need God in our lives to strengthen us.

The love of man is conditional and has an expiry date. But the love of God is eternal.

It is better to trust in the Lord than depend on human beings.
It is better to trust in the Lord than to depend on human leader.
Ps118-8,9

…cursed be the man that trusteth in man….

Who can understand the human heart?
There is nothing else so deceitful: its too sick to be healed. Jeremiah 17:5,9

The verses above go on to show that man is unpredictable. Even the word of God says clearly that cursed is he who puts his trust in human beings, the strength of mortals as some version puts it.

Your mother is human and can’t love you the way you want. Your friends can’t love you the way you want same for your spouse, boss, pastor etc. As we approach the election year, I can feel the peoples yearning for a new leader who will bring something fresh. They want a 'Messiah' so to speak despite the fact that most of the people contesting were there in the old regime and haven't really purged themselves of the nasty habits like corruption.They are all the same...we are all the same. We are all corrupt thanks to the system that brought us up. The answer lies in seeking divine assistance. Only Gd can save us!

It is better to trust in the LORD than depend on human beings...

We are born with that void in our hearts that only God can fill .We all want magic, we all want miracles. Explains our obsession with movies like harry porter, Lord of the rings, priest, Source code,adjustment bureau, inception, black swan, Dorian gray. We are looking for that out-of-this world experience. We need God to complete us.

I hear people describing their ideal partner and am like...dude you are describing God...no one can meet some of your criteria. Especially women -your lists are just too long.

Some of us are mad at how our parents raised us, not knowing they didn’t know better. They did the best they could with what they had. Where they failed ,only God can take over. I told God when I was in High school that I wanted him to be my father and take care of me. I can testify that he has always supernaturally provided where my natural parents have failed. I have never lacked the essentials. I have gone through bad things but I always make it through.

When you stop looking at people to fix you is the day you will be free. Right now am unemployed and I have not lacked at all. I get by everyday through faith. If I looked unto man I would have lost my mind along time ago (if I haven’t lost it already).

When dealing with people be accommodating of their weaknesses and you will be surprised at how they try to give you their best. And always remember...living with you and your weaknesses ain’t a picnic either. No one is perfect.PERIOD!

Random

Am scum...am a horrible human being...they should lock me up...melt the key...then make me eat it/drink...i don't care... anything to kill the guilt.

Promise thoust won't loveth me less if i tell you what i have doneth?

I took money from my kid sister's piggy bank. I didn't actually break it, i just found a way to jam it kidogo.

In my defense i was hungry and there was no food in the house.

I remember giving the rugrat the piggy bank after i had opened an account for her and paid the ledger fees and shit! The girl then had the gull to ask me why it was written 'made in china' if it was a Kenyan account.

I just opened the account, i found the bank the way it is sweetie!-That was what i was supposed to say. But this is what i said===> How am i supposed to know, maybe china is nearer and cheaper than industrial area, how tf should i know.seriously???( see parenting101 dictates that when you don't know the answer to something you rise your voice and scare the rugrat)

I should have just bought my self a nice pair of heels(which i know i would never wear) with the initial deposit cash then take nice photos and upload on facebook or something!

Any way am having kangumu and coffee and it tastes so divine. maybe coffee isn't that bad after all. How come food bought with stolen money taste so good?
btw my niece Neema is in the other room watching cartoons. i hope she doesn't find me eating...maybe if i finished fast... (thinking aloud)
gotta go lovely people
ta ta

am special too

In a world where people are thirsty for heroes and role models, it makes sense for them to choose a certain few to make them believe in humanity...to make them feel that there are still good people left...that all is not lost. Some...surprise surprise go to blogs to find it and after liking a few posts they put you on a pedestal because maybe through your writing they get some "aha" moments and their lives are touched.

The thing about blogs is that people get to know you a little(read a lot) and when they know you, they then start to see the cracks and sometimes judge you especially if they think you are a pretender. I hate being put on a pedestal seeing as am a afraid of heights, I rarely even get on my high horse seeing as am no jockey either.lol,

I ain't shit...there i said it! its just that with a "pen" you get to create a picture you want...you manipulate characters and spin stories the way you want without fear of being..i dunno...misunderstood? I am shocked that some even ask for relationship advice from me...really people? really? ever heard of those who don't know/do teach(or something like that?)

I know you are wandering what it is am jabbering on about, well don't get your knickers in a bunch i will tell you. A few weeks ago i wrote about my pet peeves and somone thought it came of like i was implying that am flawless. Well tonight i put it all out there, i write stuff that i do that piss people off. Of course some i can't help, some i can, some i can help but wont. So try and get down from your high horse and understand me in your heart which i know is as big as a watermelon.

But if you get repulsed i take this chance to thank you for your time...its been nice knowing you, have a nice life...seriously..i wish you well..i hope you reincarnate as a slug.tihihi..

a) I watch movies with subtitles, it drives my friends bonkers as they cant multitask.See the thing is am not used to the twang, accents, slang and the pidgin used in most movies and i really don't wanna miss a thing.That's the reason I don't watch movies in theaters...that and because am broke...lol.

b) I open my mouth all the time, as in my lips part involuntarily from time to time.When i was about 7yrs old my front teeth were coming out but i didn't tell my parents so the new ones started growing underneath(don't ask me how that's even possible) so the result was that i have kinda Buck teeth so closing my mouth completely feels weird. It sorta looks like the singer Estelle's mouth. I cant count the number of times when i was young i used to be told to close my mouth.ouch!

c) I bite my nails, i know its a pretty nasty habit i developed as a shy teenager. It has made me get diarrhoea, amoeba and funny diseases because i ingest the germs under my nails. I have tried cutex(nail polish for some of you), chilli, fake nails but when i wake up in the morning i find them bleedy looking...and voila! i don't have nails. i need help..somebody..anybody

d)I chew food weird. You need to watch Dr.Lightman in LIE TO ME series to understand what am taking about. You don't want to see how i chew gum,crisps and carrots...the sound i make is painful to hear.Its like am chewing cud. I first noticed it when some video was shot in our youth group and i was watching a play back and i saw some chic chewing gum funny and i was shocked when i discover it was actually me.CRINGE!I remember when i was a kid and i was eating spaghetti the house help quit eating it.now i know why! In public i have learnt how to make it less conspicuous but once in a while i go into a trance and i start eating like my old self.What hurts more than my chewing is when people constantly criticize the way i eat...sigh..

e) My big voice. I have a very big voice. think Tasha Smith, Toni Braxton, Cess Mutungi only less sexier with a thick lakeside accent.lol. When i speak over the phone its hard to know whether am female or male. I called safaricom customer care a few days ago and they thought i was a fraudster. I had to give a lot of information which really pissed me off. At my old job when i called male clients they'd be like sema bwana and offer to buy my beer then later apologize profusely when they come to the office and they are told am of the female persuasion.This one time my mum called at night and hung up as soon as i said hello. When i called back she told me she thought i was with a man who picked.woiye! I went to some party in Uni and i had shaved my hair and some guy came over and asked me what am i? I think imma start walking naked.lol.To make matters worse sometimes i don't speak clearly...its sort of nasal like the Jael chic in the ANTM season where that Joslene, the Spicy Latina chic won. Only my family and close friends understand what i say. But i have learned how to take it down a notch from my phonetics classes but i forget most times. Sometimes kids are afraid around me because they get confused as to what to do with me.

Now combine the big voice with my laughter which is like the braying of a donkey and am pretty sure its a few decibels higher than what NEMA allows. Its actually a beautiful belly laugh, i don't just laugh with my teeth , i laugh from the heart until by sides ache. and it doesn't hurt that i came from a family full of funny people, from Dani(shosho) all the way to mama(i don't call my mother mummy, that's what white people call theirs.lol)i hear some men hate that ka - laugh.don't ask me why, your guess is as good as mine!

f) I eat and read in bed- a habit i developed when i moved into my self contained house and i didn't have a couch. Please stay away from anything from the bakery.When bread crumbs dry they exfoliate your skin, its especially annoying to people who sleep semi naked like me.lol.

and oh! i read in the loo too.Its the most private place in the house. no one goes to look for you there.lol.

g) I have very poor eye sight so i may have on some occasion used the wrong toothbrush.i know its gross!Come on when the lighting is poor even you wouldnt know the difference between light blue and light green- they all look alike when i dont have my glasses. But not to worry my toothbrush has been exiled to the kitchen away from everyone elses besides these days i have learnt to wear my glasses first thing when i wake up.

f) I have on occasion bouts of insanity that's why i changed my blog description to the one above.Its not premeditated though.I do stuff then in retrospect i start wondering-what was i thinking??Friends tell me stuff i did or said in college and i swear i can't begin to explain what was going through my mind then. like this time i ate melons in the pub..

what! am a teetotaler... beer tastes like feet and it has no sugar. why do people drink any ways?? Its so bad that some of my friends doubt if i really graduated from uni. I don't know how to act educated. i live in the village no one cares that you have a degree, we are all equal.any way for the doubting Thomases here's the proof

Please ignore the bling!
...I swear i look like them prize cows during the ASK shows tihihi...

g) My English is challenged. you would think that as an English teacher i would follow grammar rules but i don't , at least outside the class room( sorry Noam Chomsky). Why just yesterday i discovered that in front, a lot are two words. And who decided that 'written' should have two T's and 'writing' should have one 'T'. why cant they both have same number of T's and save me some energy?? I do shit like put full stops on titles, i write 'genius' as 'geniuos' it sounds nicer,'Enquiries' is 'inquiries' for yours truly or is it the other way round..dunno? will check later. I am married to the word LOL. i over abused it daily .sorry dear.lol.

It gets wort i have serious "mother tongue supremacy(lake-side accent for some of you)My brother says i pronounce 'EVEN' wrong. i take it literally, to me it rhymes with 'heaven'I have to stop but i can't. i pronounce 'the' as tha', but only people from the lakeside notice my shrubs, others can't tell.yay! Don't get me started on the 'SH' syndrome. I have tried to sing Pink's - like a pill, the part that says -There's a shortage in the switch- and i cant...for real...i really cant. and that song by Damian marley and bobby brown where he sings -She shampoos my locks
- i wish i could sing it.oh well!

Next year am moving to the Nairobi City(yay!) and i know am going to stick out like a sore thumb.

h) I love black- from coffee,to purses, to earrings,to phones,to dresses, to shoes, to men, to clothes, to bedsheets, cutex (yes i said cutex). I hope it doesn't imply anything in the spiritual realm though. all my pants are black and shoes too, except my sandals.Its easy to match with anything.I hear some people find this disturbing!

i) the last one. wow! the more i write the more i realize am a really flawed individual.jeez! anyhoo..here goes...i suffer from a mild halitosis in the morning. So no morning "anything" for me(wink twice). If any body "talks" to me i go ninja immediately.lol.I don't talk when i wake up in the morning, my friends find it funny but as soon as i get the right truth brush and wash my face am yapping like crazy.lol.

Imagine despite all these i still think am awesome...i hope am not delusional! LMAO
ta ta lovely people.

a dedication to the endangered species

When that time comes, seven women will grab hold of one man and say, "we can feed and clothe ourselves, but please let us say you are our husband so that we won't have to endure the shame of being unmarried."
Isaiah 4:1

The Dodo bird is a believed to be member of the pigeon family and it was last seen in 1981 as it is now extinct.People called it dodo because they thought it was dumb for being comfortable and over friendly with humans. Legend has it as man started domesticating other animals they started hunting the dodo bird until they became extinct.With the extinction of the Dodo bird came the extinction of the Cavalria tree. This is because the dodo bird used to spread the seeds. It couldn't digest it so it pooped it else where and the tree grew and flourished. Sort of like humans and Mapera(i don't know the English word, somebody help). so no dodo, no Cavalria tree.Now think of Men as the Dodo bird and women as the Cavalria tree. no men, no women.Know men, know women (dont know why i added the last part but it sounded nice in my head)

The poor boy child! It seems like the devil is hard on their trail. Statistics show that male infants are more likely to die as compared to females. There are more women than men in most countries. In some countries baby boys are so precious that if a woman discovers she is pregnant with a girl she aborts or the mid wife is bribed to smother the baby at birth and lie it was a still birth. Right now in this country we have men dying after drinking the illegal liquor. I was so disgusted to discover that they use young men as guinea pigs for every liquor they brew before they release it to the rest of the public. How sad!

Any hoo one man complained that my blogs are biased and I neglect my male audience. So to my brothers-apologies and know that I love you to the moon and back and I am not a man-hater.

Why I love you? I can’t summarize in one sentence but maybe I can tell of a few things that you do so well.(you already know the things you do wrong)

I love how you are good at: zipping the back of my dress when the situation demands, wearing my heels to stop them from pinching my toes, help me put on my necklace, the back rubs (I mean that back wont rub itself), how you take out the trash, how you lightly touch the small of my back when you are opening the door for me, how you reach out for your wallet to pay the bills(the sexiest move ever- the best aphrodisiac too), how you play with my hair(read not weave. You do not touch the weave), do the lawn, kiss my eyelids, forehead and je ne sais quoi. Tihihi.

You are important and the women can’t do without you ( funny how some arrogant women stand to say how men are useless when they are a product of the female gamete and male gamete fusing). Am especially thankful for the X-chromosome that made me. I see you papi.lol

I thought of ways I could enrich your lives today. I though of doing a love songs collection for men but I knew it would take the bottom shelf after your porn collection (yeah we know what you do when we are not around). So I settled on making a list of babymaking songs as this will benefit you and your girl_ you can thank me now(I may not be here later.lol).

1.Trading places Usher
You know how they joke that some songs give instructions, well this is one of those songs. Appropriate for is birfday.

…pay the bill, wash the car, take out the trash with nothing but a t-shirt on
…the crouching tiger...excetera

2.Lets get it n Marvin gaye
I know many of you were conceived to this song.lol

..we are all sensitive people with so much to give...
…whoooo theres nothing wrong with you loving you...
...stop beating around the bush...

3.Redlight special(dirtyversion) – TLC
I thought I saw Boris Kodjoe with all his hair in the video. Someone please confirm for me. There's a man wearing some animal print underwear, pls Kenyan men be this creative _ those underwear with superman, care bears does nothing to excite our imagination. And please no flowered one either..unless there's something that died down there. Ok i will stop now

…if I move too fast let me know, coz it means you move too slow…

4.Number one s*x R.kelly/Keri Hilson

5. Peepshow – Joe Thomas
…taking you frm the bed, t the wall and to the floor..

6. love scene – Joe Thomas
…sip from your cup.. 69 was a very good year

7. Motivation(explicit version) Kelly Rowland, Lil wayne
I love her new boobies by the way #nohomo. As a small chested woman am jealous. But the icing on the cake is when Weezy does his thing. Please tell me who writes his lyrics..they are so witty

…I turn that thing into a rain forest
..i put her on my plate and to the dishes.
When is he coming to Kenya I go throw my knickers on stage???

8.How can I love you tonight _ Sisqo
Its meant for the wrong kind aloe but who cares the lyrics are awesome. Enjoy

9Nice and slow – Usher
…I got plans to put my hands in places i've never seen…

10. Rihanna – skin
...No heels, no shirt...
...All i'm in is just skin...

Reeree ain't ashamed to let the boy know whats up.

11. Dip it low – Christina Milan
..if he is a good boy...
...a really really good boy..why don’t you let him lay with you?

12. Body kiss – Isley brothers
I love how they censor words with a kiss tihihi. This boys know how make me “get lifted”
we are about to play this game and I will let you win.

13. Cross the line -John Legend
The best singer of our time. I love this song to deff.

14.Amusement park - 50cent
You ain't got take your nini off, just pull them to the side..hahaha

15.Miili yet - Eric Wainaina
If you don't have Eric Wainaina on your play list lease slap yourself.

16. James brown - Superfreak

17. Bite you -Neyo

18. S&M - Rihanna

19. F her gently - Tenacious D

20. In those jeans - Genuine
Some thing about this song makes me wanna take off my jeans.lol.

21. Shorty's got her eyes on me- Donnel Jones
One of my favourite singers of all time.

22. Addicted - Truth hurts
I have never gotten over this lady's facial expression in this video. #nohomo

23. Oops oh my - Tweet

24. D'angelo - Untitled
Strictly for ladies only!Viewers discretion is advised.

25. Till the end of time - Timothy Bloom
Dang! the video did things to me yawa! strictly for adults only.

when does life begin?

During the big abortion debate in Kenya ,I strike a conversation with some lady in a vehicle and she gave me a very scary story. She went to a private party in Nairobi and noticed that every couple who attended the party had two kids (each of opposite sex). She got curious and asked the host if the go out making friends with people with two kids or was it just a coincidence? She found out that the couples had a private doctor who procured for them abortion as they continued to look for the child of the desired sex. Sick I know! The poor woman was shocked to find out that there are people out there playing God and doing whatever they wanted to achieve the “perfect family”.

A few months back I watched The Patricia show on KBC where they were talking about teenage pregnancy. I was shocked to find that young girls are more afraid to get pregnancy than they are of Hiv/Aids.

Like how the computer is underlining the Hiv word and giving me other options which include-Hive.lol

One girl put it so nicely “you can hide Hiv from mum, but pregnancy? Pregnancy you can’t hide”.It broke my heart. This explains why they would rather secretly have an abortion than tell their parents.

Lemmi give you a little statistics

WHO reports that 42wmen abort annually.
In Kenya it’s reported that there are 300,000 abortions annually
Who says 67,000 women die every year due to unsafe abortion and about 2,600 of them are from Kenya. KNH receives abortion related cases daily and 1 in every 10 of these cases dies. They say people lie but numbers don’t. You must admit this are some pretty scary numbers. Wait it gets worse... in Nyanza 42% of 15-19yr olds are already sexually active. It’s so disappointing especially because that’s where I come from. I remember one of my relatives joking that the rest of the Kenyan tribes must be immune to Hiv. I mean how else how else can you explain how majority of Hiv/Aids cases are from Nyanza

(There are some people who even believe that chiqs from nyanza are loose, it makes me mad when some one is with me because of this. I do not necessarily follow the trend or fit into that stereotype).

There have been cases of fetuses being dumped by the roadside. This is also seen in slums where fetuses are dumped and are sometimes eaten by pigs which make sausages which find their way into your plate…am joking

(Now sausages don’t seem so tasty donnit?).

Women in the slums who cant afford health care result to crude ways of aborting. They use : knitting needles, bent coat hangers, ingest bleach , undiluted juice, herbal drinks, malaria pills etc. The shame of unwanted pregnancy also drives this women to procure abortions from ill equipped backstreet clinics. The botched abortions lead to perforated intestines, injured uteruses, bladder and sometimes even the rectum. Doctors complain that abortion complications putting a strain on the already little resources.

When the debate came to Kenya you should have seen the voices in the media. I was amused to see men talk and yet they do not have uteruses. Apart from a few feminists the women were silent on the issue. You would think as the holders of the uteruses we would be given the space to choose what we want. This men who are sometimes too lazy even to carry a condom, don’t even bother to be involved in the choice of family planning. Some pretend to care that you are pregnant but as soon as the babies comes they are no where to be seen I know of women who go to the maternity clinic and come home alone, the husband doesn’t even bother to come for them from the hospital. Ideally it would be nice if men stepped up and became leaders in their families or what did they think the word leader/head of the house meant? I know of a family friend of mine who is involved in his wife’s life they discussed the method of contraception; he knows when the wife has a period and is generally aware of what’s happening. He is not a stranger in his family’s life .The support should be even as simple as including your wife in your medical cover so that she can afford proper medical care.

Then there was the government getting into our bedrooms. The government which prides itself in taking care for its citizens. The same government that admitted to there being a shortage of family planning methods in Kenya. The same government that says that Kenya is yet to attain contraceptive security. The same government that refuses to give death certificates to stillborn children.

I hear some medical officers get rid your foetus (if you miscarry)even without letting you see it, because to them its not that important.Like there's something wrong with you wanting too give your dead baby a decent burial.

The same government that doesn’t help you when the kids are finally born. The billions of the FE money disappearing, the unimix for the children die of anger being contaminated under their watchful eye. Te police men treating women who abort as criminals and sometimes leaving them to bleed to death or jailed for 7 years. Then the 'when does life begin' debate started_

is it after fertilization? After 3mnths? or should we just go straight and arrest the men who masturbate for killing potential fertilizers?lol

The church came out to show their disgust at abortion and read us the riot act. The church which is against condoms knowing very well there’s innocent people out there vulnerable to Hiv?Aids. The church with some questionable characters, we hear of clergy men who organize for abortion for the women they impregnate, The church with people molesting little boys too.The church which is against sex education. The church which sometimes stigmatizes the teenage mothers and drive some to abortion.smh

The society too has failed the woman The stigma associated with unwanted pregnancies. The conservative nature which has seen sex education being removed from the syllabus. The lack of knowledge leaving the young people to experiment with sex without knowing the consequences. But what do I know..?

Anyhoo currently in Kenya they only allow abortion:when there’s rape, incestuous relationships, unsound mind or the woman's life is in danger.

I know you are prolly wondering where my stand it on this issue?
and i will tell you. should abortion be legalized or not? I don't know. Personally i think we are going about this the wrong way. We should aim at making sure we have enough contraceptives in the country instead of working backwards,

it's sad to realize that some of the family planning methods in Kenya are ancient and have been faced out due to their ineffectiveness and yet we are still using them.seriously!!!

To women-just take charge of your sex life because when the baby comes it will be inside you.You will have the responsibility of taking care of it.If you are not ready, life itakuwa mrefu kwako!

Asa_official

Asa(pronounced Asha) is a Nigerian singer whose real name is Bukola Elemide. Her nick name Asa simply means 'little hawk'. She was born in 1982 in Paris but was raised in Lagos Nigeria. She's the only girl in a family of four children. Her mother was a shopkeeper while her father made videos for weddings. She sings in both Yoruba and English.

She is inspired by the likes of Marvin Gaye, Fela Kuti, Nina Simone, Bob Marley, Aretha Franklin, Sunny Ade, Ebenezer Obey, Lagbaja, Eryka Badu Rafael Sadique, Angelique Kidjoe, D'angeo...most of who her parents used to listen to when she was young. Her music is hard to define as she fuses pop, r&b, funk, world, neo-soul, soul and reggea.

In an interview she said, She wants to show the world that something beautiful and positive can come out of the "dark continent" and inspire young people all over the world.

I was only familiar with Jailer and Fire on the mountain and accidentally stumbled on her new album -Beautiful Imperfection....

...while looking for them on YouTube.My fave tracks on the album are Be my man, baby gone,Why cant we. There is something Tracy Chapman-ish about her.This 'be my man' track is beautiful and simple, i wish Kenyan musicians would also borrow a leaf from this nice video. The guy with pink pants and shades with white handles is the funniest of them all. Plus the dude with the cocktail mixer, wish he could "mix' me like that too.lol.Overall I love her music to the moon and back,have a listen and tell me what you think.



ok.You can thank me now. No need to wait for later!

For more information on her tours, lyrics, biography etc her website- www.asa-official.com and on twitter her handle is asa_official.

Mad issues

Is it possible to die of heartbreak? Because if it is then tonight am on my death bed.

...cue the violins...

I know, its a horrible way to begin todays blog eh? Im pissed as hell...i want to rip out my uterus and hit someone between the eyes with it. I want to sleep in a foetal position with my hands between my legs and never wake up again. I am exhausted...the kind of exhaustion that cant be cured with going on a vacation. I am actually contemplating getting drunk for the first time since college..so drunk that i pass out, but i wont or rather cant because am broke...cigarettes are cheaper but the mama kiosk in my hood is a christian and doesn't stock cigarettes in her kayosk.lol.

Everything that could go wrong today went wrong. First i got this email informing me that i had failed yet another interview...am still trying to pick up the pieces of whatever is left of my self esteem. Just thinking about the dumb questions they were asking me like "why should we hire you?"- how about because i don't have a f-ing job people, how about because my savings have gone dry, how about because i too like the rest of kenyans have bills to pay- i mean did you ever think about that employers????gawd the way you sit behind those seats and grill me to kingdom come is just wrong.

And to think i travelled all the way to the to another town miles away from home and checked in this "continental hotel"!

slept in these "silk sheets"!

sat in this "antique chair"!

showering in these "custom made" bathroom sandals!

had this breakfast fit for a king!(notice the two mugs?)

then washed it down with this water which had stuff floating in it which i assume were vitamins?

Before being packed in this car like sardines!

So as i was going through self pity and really just wallowing in my misery, i had this brilliant idea to rant to one of the people i thought would understand...i got this interesting sms. Someone decided to go cold turkey on my behind(i should change friends!)

.. I took your side when you decided to quit your job, i tetead you..blah..blah.. you are not perfect...blah blah..call it resentment if you like but think about it and think about others for a change..blah blah...

but this other one right here took the cake

...am tired of your whining, life is crappy enough for us then we have to put up
with your whining...blah blah...hebu grow up...you left your promising job...blah..blah..nimechoka.

just when you think you couldn't get any lower someone comes along and digs deeper for you to go a wee bit lower...i mean you were not low enough.

As i was reeling from this text some genius decided today is the day he will katia me on fb. The funniest thing is that his profile picture is of his girlfriend who has this piercing eyes- its as if she can look into your soul...like she is daring you to katia her man.The girl is hot to boot.(what do men want?) then he starts to insult me calling me whore nshit(again why do men think this is the worst way to insult a woman-i can think of worse! because the only way you would know i was a whore is if you slept with me which makes you also a whore- takes one to know one dear!lol) after i politely decline as i am too exhausted to reply... moving on...

Then the unlimited bundles you had subscribed to ,abruptly expires while you are smack in the middle of sending your CV to another employer. Then you subscribe again and it refuses to work...then you call the customer care and some woman who sounds like she got a cold decides to tell you the lines are busy and they will attend to you within two hours. At this point am contemplating getting mamas knife and go harakiri already.

I do some editing for some people online and today the slave driver...sorry the boss informs me that i take too long to edit the manuscripts and send them back with even more errors. That i should stop taking people's essays and running with them. My work is to edit, not to re write the whole story again...well forgive me for trying to bring a little humour and sun shine into peoples lives... Well i know where i want to shove the manuscript.

To make matters worse am loosing friends faster than my pimples are multiplying. Its sorta like jail. After sentencing your family is broken and they visit you often then months later the visitations reduce then eventually they stop coming at all.Even your children forget about you and stop asking when are you coming home.people move on. Speaking of pimples i got this pimple on my face and is as painful af. Its strategically placed in such a way that my glasses rub on it. Every time i wake up the the morning and put on my glasses the sharp pain makes me dizzying and reminds me just how much life my sucks.

Im watching the untouchables feature on KTN where someone is saying how he was told to eat the brain matter of his friend who had been shot in the head. People can be so cruel sometimes-how gruesome.How do you recover from something horrific like that?? All he wanted was to buy a cow from his friend - he picked the wrong day to do it.smh

Gawd! can this mosquitoes leave me alone already? can a girl blog? please? or atleast if you are gonna suck my blood be quiet about it!

Now i have his headache that wont go away and my stomach feels like someone has a blow torch to it. I feel like throwing up and mama just asked me if am pregnant and i say no then she tells me maybe its amoeba. tomorrow i will go to the chemist and self medicate (health care is so expensive these days) but me thinks its just symptoms of a broken heart.

and oh love sucks.(refer to my other post)...

...and if anyone tells you different he deserves to have an anvil tied round his neck and dropped in the middle of the Indian ocean... and if i see cupid i will smack his chubby bottom, huff and puff his halo..and his bow? well am a shove it up where the good Lord split him. They just had to make cupid a small boy with horrible aiming skills.smh

Ive now log onto youtube listening to depressing songs as i cry my tear glands dry... the tears are flowing freely and dropping on my lap as i write this. I hope that i don't hurt Alejandro(that's the name my sister has given her laptop- dont ask!).

Oh shucks! My pimple has just popped as am adjusting my glasses...eeeeewww...grrrrooosss! Gotta go squeeze it with two ear buds just like Tyra showed in her show.(The gospel according to Tyra.lol) night people.
ta ta