i hate you all beautiful women

I have made a colossal mistake! A mistake that is ruining my life and giving me untold grief!I have been accepting friends requests on my fb without checking out the background information of the people am adding. Most of them lie anyways so i never bother to check them out but now am paying for it in a major way.

I have added some very beautiful young ladies on my FB friends list unknowingly and now am homicidal. What with all of them adding awesome(semi-naked) photos of them selves and tagging me on them. Always rubbing it on my face just how hot their are!

I hate them... i hate their perky boobs and flat stomachs...i hate they are beautiful hair and clothes...i hate their perfect teeth...i hate how they can fit into my niece's doll's clothes...i hate how they can contort their bodies into tyra-like poses...i hate how they get like 56comments from their friends on their photos. Comments like sexxxyyy! or beautiful! or HhhhOOOttt! stupid girls.

While the best comments i can get are "kumbe you are actually beautiful" or "your more beautiful than i actually though".

I was actually weighed on the beautiful-o-meter scale and was found wanting(read aesthetically challenged). Whatever happened to all (wo)men are equal!

These comments(one or two max) are usually sent to my inbox, God forbid that they should be seen complimenting an old heifer spinster on the timeline.nkt! Some even ask me what is behind me on my photos...seriously!!! Am standing right in front of that roto tank, cant you ask me what lip-gloss am wearing???!!! Then the occasional like from my family members which doesn't count because they love me regardless...sigh!

Even after i have poured my thick body into my kid sister's clothes and managed to contort my body into painful poses and forced a great smile despite the pain. Now am doomed to always look like a librarian all my life!

No offense librarians! You have the most awesomest and safest job in Kenya. You don't even have to take out PEV insurance for your health seeing as no library or bookshop was broken into during the PEV in 2008. lol

I mean what is a woman supposed to do to get attention around here! Am i being unreasonable for being an attention-whore or i should just go start a cult if i want to be worshiped! Or maybe i should use this month's allowance to go get me some self esteem!

random

I got a link via one of the social networks about a comedian who was giving insights as to whats wrong with the black woman, apart from the fact that we are angry! Most of the time i watch the stuff on youtube purely for entertainment but this one touched me so i decided to do a post.

The young man said that the thing that is wrong with the black women is that we lack compassion. Out of all the definitions of compassion this was my favourite:

The deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

He went on to explain how on his birthday his girlfriend brought him a gift that wasn't wrapped and gave it to him then left. His side h*e gave him a wrapped gift with a card written "Thank you for being you". His new woman took the time to put some heart into the gift, she showed how caring she was in picking and wrapping the gift while the girlfriend did it like a chore.

This young man was onto something but he didn't know what to call it. I think he meant that women are becoming insensitive and uncaring. I almost agree with him because i have witnessed and experienced and even dished out some of the hurt to people.

A few months back a woman came on telly saying how she burned her own child with a hot panga. She was on camera explaining how she took the panga placed it on the jiko and burned her own flesh and blood. She didn't even try to hide it or lie that it was an accident.

A few days ago me and some lady were chastising a girl who had done a mistake which i had done earlier. No sooner had i started talking that the heifer
lady decided to bring up something i had done in the past and throw it in my face telling me how sijui she was coping me... bah ...blah...I kept quiet hoping she would get the picture and shut the fuck up, but she didn't. I have never been pissed in my entire life. I thought of saying something but i counted the cost of the battle and realized i had more to lose. What got my goats was when the lady turned around and did something worse to the very person we were trying to chastised and she felt justified.This lady was not sensitive to both the situation.

I remember in college our lecturer in our poetry class used to insist that when we do term papers in groups we would follow it up with a presentation such that he can make sure every one is pulling their weight. As i was presenting this lady kept asking me stupid question...testing to see if i knew what i was talking about. I started getting pissed and the lecture noticed and told her to stop. The funny part was she hadn't done her presentation.

As i was going to my seat , i went over to her and leaned in and whispered in her ear "in the next few minutes you will be there and i will be where you are seated". When her turn came , boy did i give her grief! that was the last time for the rest of my poetry class that we ever talked. This lady was insensitive she did not know that her turn will come and she would want people to be decent to her.

These are just a few scenarios showing how some women are very inconsiderate. This may have come about by growing up in households where men ain't shit and now to prevent what their mother went through they are ruthless in their dealing with men. They think the men treated their mothers badly because they were soft.

I was reading a blog talking about Hill Harper's book 'The conversation'. The female blogger thought Hill was biased against women by asking them to lower their standards. Personally i haven't read the book but if The eye-candy did write it then am definitely going to search for it.lol.

I still think what Hill and the comedian was going about is still sensitivity and understanding. Women need to treat men the way they would want to be treated. The standards you put for your ideal man is the same that you should be able to deliver your self. Like those women who insist that their man should have a stable job, car, well educated and healthy, when they themselves went to third floor colleges and have nothing to their name. Why would you want a man to have achieved all that when you your self haven't achieved anything near that? You attract what you are! If you want man who is successful, be successful yourself- then you will attract a man who is successful.

I was talking to some young man who told me how this lady always flashes his phone if she wants to talk. She has never spent her money calling him. No compassion whatsoever! I have noticed that sense of entitlement in some women ever since i came to Nairobi. This is the city, life is expensive and this young men work upto three jobs just to make ends meet, instead of being considerate and help each other, some women think it is ok to take and take and take ...but give nothing in return. The fact that they feel nothing means that they are inconsiderate and insensitive.

Right now i am tarmacking(job hunting for some of you) and i have noticed the different ways in which my female friends and male friends are reacting to my situations. My male friends just send me mail or links for any vacancies that they now i would fit perfectly and there is less talk. e.g. Some guy we were with in college found out am jobless(i don't know how) and started linking me with jobs and sites like LinkedIn etc but never once has he tried flapping his mouth. Now some of my female friends are so insensitive. They interpret my not getting a job fast enough as my lack of trying. They call every few weeks asking why i haven't got a job? kwani what am i doing in Nairobi? Why am i not serious? blah blah blah!

There's this one annoying friend who always calls me telling me how lucky i am staying at home doing what i want. How my life is perfect n isht, makes me want to kill myself and everyone around me. I want a job more than she does...it is the first thing i think about when i wake up in the morning and the last thing when that i think about before i go to sleep.

I have applied for jobs at 2am in the morning because i could not sleep.I am the one without a job not them. I want a career, i want a car, i want to wear nice clothes, i want to hang out with my friends and pay for my plate of chips. I want to buy my grandma cool stuff and call her instead of her calling me. I remember when she found out i don't have a job she told me " nyinga(that's what she calls me)do not to be afraid of calling me even if you don't have a job. I still love you even if you don't have job" -Now that's compassion. She is so sweet!

When someone is unemployed they are low on self esteem. A job you have held for more than six months means a lot to you. It is part of you, loosing your job is like breaking up with someone important in your life so the constant nagging from the insensitive friends strips you of the last shred of self esteem that your trying to hold on to. All one wants is some patience and compassion from friends and family- not constant nagging.

There is a thin line between encouraging someone and nagging them and women have erased it. If am a woman and some of my female pals are running off the mouth, imagine what they are going to do to their man who has lost his job? No wonder men lie about their accomplishments to measure up, if i had known i would have hid my current situation from some heifers people.

jump the broom already!

This is the New Year and I know there are people who made resolutions despite the fact that I told them thatit was a bad idea. Who listens to me anymore? And because you are going to do what you want at the end of the day…F my opinions.

I’m pretty sure there are some of you contemplating getting married this year. Some of you have even arranged a proposal for valentines ,which is around the corner. Now for those who are still thinking whether they should jump the broom or not…well here is a few advantages which you might want to go through to help you make up your mind. I am no wedding expert, but I have plenty of married friends and I see the perks they enjoy that I don’t:

Prestige and honour
There is a certain respect given to married people that single people don’t enjoy especially women. Explains why there is so much negativity surrounding the word “spinster”. If you don’t believe me next time you go to a party where no one knows you, tell people you are married and see how differently they treat you from your single friends. It explains why women stay so long in abusive relationship, there’s still too much shame in being single and worse being divorced.

Married women treat their single friends with suspension. Some how people have gotten it into their heads that all single people do is sleep around and do God knows what! One of my pals always insists that I wash my hands and face before I do anything when I wake up in the morning in her house. She claims she doesn’t know where my hands have been. My mama always telling me not to touch our kid sister’s food...again, she doesn’t know where my hands and mouth have been. Surely! What do you people think single people do all day? gawd!

Anyway…once you are married your parents, pastor, friends etc will leave you alone. Because then, you will have done the grown thing which is seen as a sign of maturity.

Financial gain
This is where both spouses have a salary. His/her salary compliments your’s, you can even pull your resources together and make investments. You are able to divide expenses which ease the financial burden on the two of you.

Studies show that married men have more money in the bank than their single brothers. This is because they are more focused and want to secure their family’s future they slow down on buying luxury items. Now you know why mistresses love married men.

This explains why when people divorce some go into debt especially the women and are forced to sell some household items, personal assets, while some have to redeem some financial investments (but that’s not going to happen to you)

Some countries even tax couples on their joint salaries instead of separately hence the two can share the tax burden which means it eases the financial burden on both of them. Some countries even consider those who have dependants and makes considerations during tax filing which means single people with no responsibilities don't enjoy such breaks.

Health gains
You will have a life long companion, warm bed, boost immune system, live longer, less depression, improved self esteem, great meals/ eat healthier – assuming wify can cook. You will share problems and joys. This is why married people gain weight.

My favourite is the joint health cover offered by most employers. My married friends just flash mzee’s card and they get attended to at the doctor’s office. They have great dentists and give birth in awesome hospitals. My dental plan right now is to chew with the side that doesn’t hurt. But if I was married, I would have bleached my yellowing teeth(thanks to Nakuru water), maybe even get some braces to help my buck teeth…sigh!

Parenting/ raising kids is easier
Raising children is easier when both parents are around. It reduces the chances of children ending in divorce, helps break the divorce cycle.

They take turns in attending PTA meetings, sports, holidays etc when parent is at work. At least it is much easier than dropping the kids at the curb and speeding off when it is your Ex’s turn to be with them.lol.

Satisfying sex
Don’t believe the hype...married people have satisfying sex more than single people (notice I did not say great sex.lol).

Hebrews 13: 4 says “marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled”…which means there is no shame when having sex within the marriage union. Although some scholars argue that this verse doesn’t give couples the license to get too freaky and think anything goes…but that’s an argument for another blog post.

This is why you see when a married woman is pregnant she is proud but when a single person is pregnant more often than not they will try to hide it at first. There is shame in having pre-marital sex especially if it results into a love child.

Career growth
Married people are more likely to get faster promotions than singles. I remember at my old place of work there was one post with two candidates. It was given to one person who was married and every one was happy. Apparently married people need the extra money than the singles.smh!

Also knowing that people depend on you makes married people work harder and climb the corporate ladder to give their families and dependents a better life.

Religious benefits
God love marriage and sees it as a blessing hence the verse “he who finds a wife finds a good thing” or something close to that. (Notice they didn’t say he who finds a husband…LOL!) Guess marriage benefits the man more or???

Anyway getting married also have some blessing attached to it and other spiritual gains which am not really conversant with seeing as am not yet married!

So go on, put a ring on it my friend!

A lady never tells

Someone ate my porridge. Goldilocks ate my porridge. That’s the name I have given this cockroach who has decided to live in my new house rent free. First it was the gecko, now it is the roaches…IS-THERE-NO-END-TO-MY-SUFFERING!

Anyway so today I went to buy some kitungus from this lady’s kiosk (read kayox) and she started telling me how some dude did I don’t know what. I didn’t get the memo telling me that it was o.k. for her to start telling me personal stuff. When our relationship graduated from the weather talk to what-he-said conversations is still a mystery. This is what I get for striking conversation with strange women. I always promise myself to always mind my own business but I can’t stop myself...I always have to talk to strange people…sigh!

I love ladies. I really do. But you all just need to slow down with the information sharing a wee bit! Some ladies are just too revealing. They will tell you what they have in the bank account, what their house cost, this big deal they made in their businesses, the new car they bought, their menses and even about their man. The property he owns and his bank account balance. This is why men get robbed sometimes because of their loud-mouthed girlfriends. Some men also don’t tell their wives about their business ventures because of this same reason. They make it so easy to steal their man. They will even tell you how good he is in the boudoir and you can’t help but wonder what he taste like.lol (I am talking about you, you know who you are!)

This is one of the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. When they fall in love they go around telling everybody even before the relationship has become stable. Within no time they are uploading photos on Facebook, twitter, MySpace all over the place. They save the man’s name on their phone as hubby. Their wall paper is the man’s face. Soon they start going around telling anyone who will listen how good they have it with their man. They start thinking wedding, the swing on the porch, picket fences, family dog etc and scare the guy away.

When everything starts going wrong and the cracks starts to show, they don’t want people to know they have failed in yet another relationship. They grovel and struggle to stay in the relationship to keep appearances. If all fails they are forced to close their Facebook accounts and go whining in their blogs about how men ain’t shit. Unless the ring is on your finger boo boo please slow down on the information sharing and spare yourself some embarrassing moments.

Men have the code of a gentle man never tells. I think ladies we should use this code too to help curb the problem of spreading TMI. I remember some dude was so curious about my life he went snooping around and came up with nothing. He then started spreading rumors about me saying how I was a pretender blah blah blah. I am not a pretender, I just like keeping my private life private –it’s easier that way. I even choose my close friends depending on how well they can keep secrets. If I tell you something and it comes back to my ears- it’s over. Although of course you will never know it. I will not be free around you and the stuff I will say around you will be just general.

My siblings have passwords to all my social networks because I have nothing to hide. All the messages on my phone are “safe”. I don’t even keep journals or diaries. All my secrets are on the tablet of my mind- where they are safe. I have watched enough whodunit movies to know how this stuff incriminates people in crimes. They have caused divorces, murder, broken friendships etc. All because people insist on dishing out sensitive information in the spirit of sharing!

A lady never tells. At least that’s what I think. People need not know everything.Have an aura of mystery about you. Let people wonder what you are all about sometimes. This especially goes to married women. You need to keep mum about your family personal stuff. Your children and husband need to be able to trust you with their secrets. If your family realizes how much you care enough to hide their flaws they will be more willing to confide in you.

One of my close friends is married and I don’t know her husbands secrets. To me he is a good guy; she hides his flaws so well that to me he is super man. This way I am able to respect him whenever we meet. But when one lady who keeps saying how her man is a dog, you will notice how badly your girlfriends and family treat him like shit. I remember some comedian joking how this lady shouted to her man “Next time you want to kill yourself, don’t call me”. His secret was coming back to haunt him.

While we are still on the subject, see ladies how you like keeping memorabilia and shit from old flames! STOP! Go get rid of all of them because they do nothing but hold you back. Not letting go of the past holds you prisoner and you can’t go forward. That’s what killed Lot’s wife in the good book- I wonder who licked her to confirm that her statue was indeed salt?

Ok- I will stop now. Sorry my fellow Christians…was just thinking out loud.
Ta ta

Men listen, just not the way you want them to!

I had this brilliant idea to soak all my clothes and then wash them in the evening. I kind of fell asleep and i have just woken up now all hungry and tired...the things i do to myself!I am guessing the clothes will have to wait. So if you see me in a tie n dye outfit, you will know why?

My brother finally came over yesterday and i told him about the gecko situation. He claims that the it can't be the same gecko, they must be many of them WTF! I looking to have my fears dispelled but now am officially spooked. I have a confession to make i hate animals...domestic or wild...it doesn't matter.I hate the way when you touch a dog it is all warm and hairy under your hands. The only time i appreciate animals is on post cards or stuffed animals...other than that, forget it.I remember some friends of my mama from overseas came to visit us and within no time the kids were trying to pet our neighbour's chicken and saying how cute it is O.o! That is walking food! babies are cute, teddy bears are cute, chicken is not cute...unless of course it's on my plate next to a plate of chapati or ugali.yum.lol.

Anyway I was tuning my transistor radio and i stopped when i heard Marcus' voice..its been long. That dude can do all accents, wish he did stand up comedy,i would pay to watch him perform. Forget the jokers( the so pun intended) who make a mockery of the art of stand up comedy in Kenya.He and the whats-her-face co host were talking about how women are going around talking about how their men don't listen. Some woman was saying how she and her friends formed some group were they go vent about their men- which to me is ridiculous. How do you go around telling people about how your husband is this or that and how he drives you insane but don't tell him?

The callers were calling in giving their two dollars(i would say cents but they don't mean jack with the Kenyan shilling which keeps weakening). They were even more ridiculous than the topic itself, all whining about how men don't listen and isht.

Here is the thing men listen but just not the way you want them to. Let me give you an example...i had a friend of the male persuasion in college who i gave the task of finding me a book that was needed in one of my literature classes. After a few days he had not communicated so i went to his room to confront his behind and found his room mate. He then told me he was away, while i was leaving the room i saw a sticker on his table written "find Vicky book". aaaawww! i know! he heard me and was working on it. True to his word after a week he had brought me the book which warmed the cockles of my heart. Last week i told my brother that i miss meat and asked him if he could get me some but he didn't say anything so i thought he forgot. This week he came over and asked me if i still want meat and gave me money.

This proves that they listen but take longer to process and reply. Us women when we are talking we like responding with ...wacha! he did what?...haki usiseme!...oooH!...ghai!...mamayo!...alafu! etc. Men usually just sit still which makes women feel like maybe they aren't listening. But they really listen.Even if you are talking and he is not looking at you he is listening. I know it is hard to believe but its true. I have seen it with my male friends and family. Like if you send a guy a text asking to meet in town at 2pm, he won't confirm with a text saying "ok" like us women do. So when it fikas 2pm, he is in town calling and asking where you are.They don't see the need to respond..si umesha sema? si amesikia? nini unataka tena? So if you want a response you better call and confirm to save your self some heartache. It is the same way they don't reply texts, they assume you were giving them information and they are not even aware they are supposed to give a response and you are next to the phone waiting with baited breath which will be followed by a sulk.

When i ask my uncle for mula via text he never responds and i think he is ignoring me. After a few weeks, my account gets credited which means during the days of silence he is looking for the money. In his mind he is not aware that i want him to send a text saying "i am looking for money for you". I hope you are getting where i am going with this.

So as a woman when you start nagging and threatening they become stubborn to get back at you. Tell a man something once and let it go, nagging hasn't got you anywhere so why try giving him some space to breathe? If it is something you can do yourself, jifanyie he will get the picture eventually. Somethings are just not worth loosing a relationship over.

I am one of those people who never used to believe in the stuff that Dr.Phil and other Family counselors advice. To me they sounded too absurd and unattainable or even not practical but over the years i have become a believer.I never even believed in getting counseling, to me it was for people who have mental problems/clinically insane or are kookoo. Sort of an admission of being weak and not being able to deal with problems.

But there is nothing wrong in seeking help from professionals.Personally i have been counseled by my close friends which is the reason why am cool with where my life is at. I have a friend who is a pastor who normally goes cold turkey on me and gives me advice which is what i would highly recommend everyone. Get someone you can talk to without fear or being judged. Youth pastors are good and they don't even charge you for it. But going to FB and starting pages where you gossip your husband is a new low for women.

Women just need to learn their men and know how to get through to them. Know the time of day when they are receptive to "we need to talk sessions". Stop reading those stupid How-to-make-him-listen magazines that are misleading. What worked for one woman won't necessarily work for your man. Every relationship is unique with its own dynamics, try to compromise and work it out between the two of you. Stay out of them Fb pages for whining-fests and pity-parties clothed as support groups lest you end up alone!

XEO3

Guess what woke me up today? no not my neighbour's clothes hung to close to my window such that i could hear the water drip( yes i slept on the couch..again! still scared of the gecko, i am a woman after all), not my neighbour's next doors kids yelling obscenities (potty mouths.smh), not some ninja outside trying to start his tired car (GET A NEW CAR ASSHOLE!!!). ION Don't you just hate those people who blog about every minute detail of their lives? like what they ate for lunch or about their sex lives or lack thereof or about their bowel movements ..blegh! Glad am not one of those. I woke up craving some good TV series and decided to watch some episodes of GIRLFRIENDS on youtube to entertain my bored self. I can't decide which character i identify with more but am a mixture of Joan and Lynn( please don't ask me how that's even possible).

Sooo anyway i decide to look up on good old (lynn) Persian white's background.

Turns out she has a teenage daughter. who knew! She also happens to be a vocalist and lyricist for an industrial rock band called XE03. Please don't ask me what industrial means..i dunno. I first learnt of rock music while in college so my knowledge is a bit challenged. Personally i like very soft rock like lifehouse,dido, Big daddy weave,Jeremy camp, Francesca Battisteli, natalie grant etc, that which i can hear the words- the screaming and yelling kind of scares me. I listened to a couple of songs by XE03 band and they kinda scared me. The images weren't helping either. This is the same reason why i never finished watching SUCKER PUNCH...the damn scary music in the background. There is something darkish about them. As in beautiful, yet darkish...sort of like Eminem...you want to listen to them, you are drawn to them but you are afraid of them at the same time... you know what i mean (i bet that's what my family and friends say about me behind my back lol).

Enuff talking, have a listen and tell me what you think! ta ta



ps. Am looking for a new church to visit in Nairobi maybe if you could give me referrals i will be grateful. The choir must be awesome, am anal about that! Thank you, that will be all.

my sojourn in Nairobi City

Guess what woke me up today? I know you are no psychic but just guess!
No not the alarm...not my neighbour's house help singing off key...not my siblings playing loud music. Its was a gecko!

It actually fell from the roof right next to my face and nearly gave me a heart attack. I wanted to scream but i didn't want to wake the neighbour's kid who cries over and over and over...ok you get the picture!I remained still so that it could go away without coming my way.

I felt relieved when it went away but it was soon replaced by fear. I mean if i couldn't see it then it could be anywhere including my bedsheets. I decided to remain in bed because it was warm then i heard another soft thud, the stupid gecko dropped on my bed...again! so i decided to wake up, obviously the ugly creature wasn't going to let me sleep. I know what you are thinking...that am probably making this stuff up, or maybe it wasn't even a gecko. Or it's Friday the 13th and am being paranoid for nothing. I know what i saw, my bed sheets are black and the gecko is white so it would be pretty hard to miss it, right?

Anyway, Happy new year again! I finally moved to Nairobi to try and find new opportunities(as my referee puts it). My parents had this bright idea to bring me all the way to my new casa via personal vehicle using shortcuts so now i don't know where i am or where to get a bus to town.true story! One minute i was in Parklands the next i was in a maze of roads going up... down...tunnels...i was too dizzy with trying to soak in the moment that i forgot to mark the routes we used #blondemoment.

I have been here for a short time and my old friends have sniffed me out, news sure does spread fast in this town. I am so excited that i may have overbooked my weekend. See anytime my Nairobi pals call me and ask for i date when we can hook up i find myself saying the weekend would be ideal so now i have too many people to see and so little time.

I have fallen in love with Nairobi all over again. Did you know they have banks, supermarkets, pubs, schools near residential areas? I can stay here in my house without even having to go into town to get anything. How awesome is that? I can even go into the bank with no bra with just my pj's on...bliss! The agency banking that is a foreign concept in my village is now a regular occurrence in Nairobi. No more queuing at the bank to check for your balance.For real i love you Nairobi!

There is running water, i can take a shower which is a contrast to what happens back in my village. The first time i had the toilet flush i almost had orgasmic seizures. I kept playing with the water in the shower that i used up all the water in the tank. But the watchie told me they pump it in the evening? I swear i love Nairobi!

I don't know why people whine about how Nairobi is this or that...I wouldn't trade it for anything right now. You even have someone who collects your garbage daily, i leave my shit outside the door and when i come back...poof! it's gone. Who needs a man to take out the trash anymore? These little privileges that the Nairobi people enjoy and take for granted.smh!

I only have one problem though,its too cold especially at night. My flat is in the middle of two tall buildings so we get no sun, fresh air or light. Clothes don't dry, since am on the first floor the person who hangs his clothes above mine lets the water drip on my clothes and gives me homicidal thoughts. The lights have to be on 24-7, so am thinking the bill is going to give me a mini-attack.lol.

Did i say one problem? i meant three! There is too much noise around here. We are near the road so the vehicles hooting, sirens, car alarms going off, people who have huge speakers in their cars and play loud music. The blaring music from inconsiderate neighbours, the babies playing in the stairs till late into the night which i don't understand. Why parents allow their children to play as late as midnight...where are the child services in this town? i mean this are school going children being deprived of sleep yawa! The fridge is too loud, the thingy that pumps water drives me insane and my neighbour upstairs is always pacing around or dragging stuff on the floor which is pretty anoying. I have even thought of where imma bury his body( i kid, i joke don't tell any one i said that). I wonder if i can report him for suspicious activities?

Finally the traffic jams! Imagine i can be like a five minutes walk from the house and a jam keeps me there for like one hour!!!I always want to get off, but i don't see anyone else moving so am thinking maybe its a faux pas. I'm still learning the way of carrying out myself like the town folk as there are so many things i still don't understand at all. Like how the women stay fresh, beautiful and hot all day! Do they even sweat or something. They look like they walked out of the covers of the glossy magazine i see in the magazine stands in my village. I could taste the rainbow with them tihihih. And the men...wolololo they make me wanna leave the one am with.gawd! They smell so good , wish i could live in their armpits forever. They are not only handsome, but they are beautiful men. These men were not made, they were created. They were created on a Monday when the Lord was not tired as he had just come from resting. Reminds me of Estelle's song -American boy, only in my case its -Nairobi Boy.

Anyway am here, i don't know for how long but i plan on enjoying every minute of my time here. Asante lovely people. Have great day!

ta ta