Men listen, just not the way you want them to!

I had this brilliant idea to soak all my clothes and then wash them in the evening. I kind of fell asleep and i have just woken up now all hungry and tired...the things i do to myself!I am guessing the clothes will have to wait. So if you see me in a tie n dye outfit, you will know why?

My brother finally came over yesterday and i told him about the gecko situation. He claims that the it can't be the same gecko, they must be many of them WTF! I looking to have my fears dispelled but now am officially spooked. I have a confession to make i hate animals...domestic or wild...it doesn't matter.I hate the way when you touch a dog it is all warm and hairy under your hands. The only time i appreciate animals is on post cards or stuffed animals...other than that, forget it.I remember some friends of my mama from overseas came to visit us and within no time the kids were trying to pet our neighbour's chicken and saying how cute it is O.o! That is walking food! babies are cute, teddy bears are cute, chicken is not cute...unless of course it's on my plate next to a plate of chapati or ugali.yum.lol.

Anyway I was tuning my transistor radio and i stopped when i heard Marcus' voice..its been long. That dude can do all accents, wish he did stand up comedy,i would pay to watch him perform. Forget the jokers( the so pun intended) who make a mockery of the art of stand up comedy in Kenya.He and the whats-her-face co host were talking about how women are going around talking about how their men don't listen. Some woman was saying how she and her friends formed some group were they go vent about their men- which to me is ridiculous. How do you go around telling people about how your husband is this or that and how he drives you insane but don't tell him?

The callers were calling in giving their two dollars(i would say cents but they don't mean jack with the Kenyan shilling which keeps weakening). They were even more ridiculous than the topic itself, all whining about how men don't listen and isht.

Here is the thing men listen but just not the way you want them to. Let me give you an example...i had a friend of the male persuasion in college who i gave the task of finding me a book that was needed in one of my literature classes. After a few days he had not communicated so i went to his room to confront his behind and found his room mate. He then told me he was away, while i was leaving the room i saw a sticker on his table written "find Vicky book". aaaawww! i know! he heard me and was working on it. True to his word after a week he had brought me the book which warmed the cockles of my heart. Last week i told my brother that i miss meat and asked him if he could get me some but he didn't say anything so i thought he forgot. This week he came over and asked me if i still want meat and gave me money.

This proves that they listen but take longer to process and reply. Us women when we are talking we like responding with ...wacha! he did what?...haki usiseme!...oooH!...ghai!...mamayo!...alafu! etc. Men usually just sit still which makes women feel like maybe they aren't listening. But they really listen.Even if you are talking and he is not looking at you he is listening. I know it is hard to believe but its true. I have seen it with my male friends and family. Like if you send a guy a text asking to meet in town at 2pm, he won't confirm with a text saying "ok" like us women do. So when it fikas 2pm, he is in town calling and asking where you are.They don't see the need to respond..si umesha sema? si amesikia? nini unataka tena? So if you want a response you better call and confirm to save your self some heartache. It is the same way they don't reply texts, they assume you were giving them information and they are not even aware they are supposed to give a response and you are next to the phone waiting with baited breath which will be followed by a sulk.

When i ask my uncle for mula via text he never responds and i think he is ignoring me. After a few weeks, my account gets credited which means during the days of silence he is looking for the money. In his mind he is not aware that i want him to send a text saying "i am looking for money for you". I hope you are getting where i am going with this.

So as a woman when you start nagging and threatening they become stubborn to get back at you. Tell a man something once and let it go, nagging hasn't got you anywhere so why try giving him some space to breathe? If it is something you can do yourself, jifanyie he will get the picture eventually. Somethings are just not worth loosing a relationship over.

I am one of those people who never used to believe in the stuff that Dr.Phil and other Family counselors advice. To me they sounded too absurd and unattainable or even not practical but over the years i have become a believer.I never even believed in getting counseling, to me it was for people who have mental problems/clinically insane or are kookoo. Sort of an admission of being weak and not being able to deal with problems.

But there is nothing wrong in seeking help from professionals.Personally i have been counseled by my close friends which is the reason why am cool with where my life is at. I have a friend who is a pastor who normally goes cold turkey on me and gives me advice which is what i would highly recommend everyone. Get someone you can talk to without fear or being judged. Youth pastors are good and they don't even charge you for it. But going to FB and starting pages where you gossip your husband is a new low for women.

Women just need to learn their men and know how to get through to them. Know the time of day when they are receptive to "we need to talk sessions". Stop reading those stupid How-to-make-him-listen magazines that are misleading. What worked for one woman won't necessarily work for your man. Every relationship is unique with its own dynamics, try to compromise and work it out between the two of you. Stay out of them Fb pages for whining-fests and pity-parties clothed as support groups lest you end up alone!