Monday 30 January 2012

i hate you all beautiful women

I have made a colossal mistake! A mistake that is ruining my life and giving me untold grief!I have been accepting friends requests on my fb without checking out the background information of the people am adding. Most of them lie anyways so i never bother to check them out but now am paying for it in a major way.

I have added some very beautiful young ladies on my FB friends list unknowingly and now am homicidal. What with all of them adding awesome(semi-naked) photos of them selves and tagging me on them. Always rubbing it on my face just how hot their are!


I hate them... i hate their perky boobs and flat stomachs...i hate they are beautiful hair and clothes...i hate their perfect teeth...i hate how they can fit into my niece's doll's clothes...i hate how they can contort their bodies into tyra-like poses...i hate how they get like 56comments from their friends on their photos. Comments like sexxxyyy! or beautiful! or HhhhOOOttt! stupid girls.

While the best comments i can get are "kumbe you are actually beautiful" or "your more beautiful than i actually though".

I was actually weighed on the beautiful-o-meter scale and was found wanting(read aesthetically challenged). Whatever happened to all (wo)men are equal!

These comments(one or two max) are usually sent to my inbox, God forbid that they should be seen complimenting an old heifer spinster on the timeline.nkt! Some even ask me what is behind me on my photos...seriously!!! Am standing right in front of that roto tank, cant you ask me what lip-gloss am wearing???!!! Then the occasional like from my family members which doesn't count because they love me regardless...sigh!

Even after i have poured my thick body into my kid sister's clothes and managed to contort my body into painful poses and forced a great smile despite the pain. Now am doomed to always look like a librarian all my life!

No offense librarians! You have the most awesomest and safest job in Kenya. You don't even have to take out PEV insurance for your health seeing as no library or bookshop was broken into during the PEV in 2008. lol

I mean what is a woman supposed to do to get attention around here! Am i being unreasonable for being an attention-whore or i should just go start a cult if i want to be worshiped! Or maybe i should use this month's allowance to go get me some self esteem!

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