random

I got a link via one of the social networks about a comedian who was giving insights as to whats wrong with the black woman, apart from the fact that we are angry! Most of the time i watch the stuff on youtube purely for entertainment but this one touched me so i decided to do a post.

The young man said that the thing that is wrong with the black women is that we lack compassion. Out of all the definitions of compassion this was my favourite:

The deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

He went on to explain how on his birthday his girlfriend brought him a gift that wasn't wrapped and gave it to him then left. His side h*e gave him a wrapped gift with a card written "Thank you for being you". His new woman took the time to put some heart into the gift, she showed how caring she was in picking and wrapping the gift while the girlfriend did it like a chore.

This young man was onto something but he didn't know what to call it. I think he meant that women are becoming insensitive and uncaring. I almost agree with him because i have witnessed and experienced and even dished out some of the hurt to people.

A few months back a woman came on telly saying how she burned her own child with a hot panga. She was on camera explaining how she took the panga placed it on the jiko and burned her own flesh and blood. She didn't even try to hide it or lie that it was an accident.

A few days ago me and some lady were chastising a girl who had done a mistake which i had done earlier. No sooner had i started talking that the heifer
lady decided to bring up something i had done in the past and throw it in my face telling me how sijui she was coping me... bah ...blah...I kept quiet hoping she would get the picture and shut the fuck up, but she didn't. I have never been pissed in my entire life. I thought of saying something but i counted the cost of the battle and realized i had more to lose. What got my goats was when the lady turned around and did something worse to the very person we were trying to chastised and she felt justified.This lady was not sensitive to both the situation.

I remember in college our lecturer in our poetry class used to insist that when we do term papers in groups we would follow it up with a presentation such that he can make sure every one is pulling their weight. As i was presenting this lady kept asking me stupid question...testing to see if i knew what i was talking about. I started getting pissed and the lecture noticed and told her to stop. The funny part was she hadn't done her presentation.

As i was going to my seat , i went over to her and leaned in and whispered in her ear "in the next few minutes you will be there and i will be where you are seated". When her turn came , boy did i give her grief! that was the last time for the rest of my poetry class that we ever talked. This lady was insensitive she did not know that her turn will come and she would want people to be decent to her.

These are just a few scenarios showing how some women are very inconsiderate. This may have come about by growing up in households where men ain't shit and now to prevent what their mother went through they are ruthless in their dealing with men. They think the men treated their mothers badly because they were soft.

I was reading a blog talking about Hill Harper's book 'The conversation'. The female blogger thought Hill was biased against women by asking them to lower their standards. Personally i haven't read the book but if The eye-candy did write it then am definitely going to search for it.lol.

I still think what Hill and the comedian was going about is still sensitivity and understanding. Women need to treat men the way they would want to be treated. The standards you put for your ideal man is the same that you should be able to deliver your self. Like those women who insist that their man should have a stable job, car, well educated and healthy, when they themselves went to third floor colleges and have nothing to their name. Why would you want a man to have achieved all that when you your self haven't achieved anything near that? You attract what you are! If you want man who is successful, be successful yourself- then you will attract a man who is successful.

I was talking to some young man who told me how this lady always flashes his phone if she wants to talk. She has never spent her money calling him. No compassion whatsoever! I have noticed that sense of entitlement in some women ever since i came to Nairobi. This is the city, life is expensive and this young men work upto three jobs just to make ends meet, instead of being considerate and help each other, some women think it is ok to take and take and take ...but give nothing in return. The fact that they feel nothing means that they are inconsiderate and insensitive.

Right now i am tarmacking(job hunting for some of you) and i have noticed the different ways in which my female friends and male friends are reacting to my situations. My male friends just send me mail or links for any vacancies that they now i would fit perfectly and there is less talk. e.g. Some guy we were with in college found out am jobless(i don't know how) and started linking me with jobs and sites like LinkedIn etc but never once has he tried flapping his mouth. Now some of my female friends are so insensitive. They interpret my not getting a job fast enough as my lack of trying. They call every few weeks asking why i haven't got a job? kwani what am i doing in Nairobi? Why am i not serious? blah blah blah!

There's this one annoying friend who always calls me telling me how lucky i am staying at home doing what i want. How my life is perfect n isht, makes me want to kill myself and everyone around me. I want a job more than she does...it is the first thing i think about when i wake up in the morning and the last thing when that i think about before i go to sleep.

I have applied for jobs at 2am in the morning because i could not sleep.I am the one without a job not them. I want a career, i want a car, i want to wear nice clothes, i want to hang out with my friends and pay for my plate of chips. I want to buy my grandma cool stuff and call her instead of her calling me. I remember when she found out i don't have a job she told me " nyinga(that's what she calls me)do not to be afraid of calling me even if you don't have a job. I still love you even if you don't have job" -Now that's compassion. She is so sweet!

When someone is unemployed they are low on self esteem. A job you have held for more than six months means a lot to you. It is part of you, loosing your job is like breaking up with someone important in your life so the constant nagging from the insensitive friends strips you of the last shred of self esteem that your trying to hold on to. All one wants is some patience and compassion from friends and family- not constant nagging.

There is a thin line between encouraging someone and nagging them and women have erased it. If am a woman and some of my female pals are running off the mouth, imagine what they are going to do to their man who has lost his job? No wonder men lie about their accomplishments to measure up, if i had known i would have hid my current situation from some heifers people.