Men listen, just not the way you want them to!

I had this brilliant idea to soak all my clothes and then wash them in the evening. I kind of fell asleep and i have just woken up now all hungry and tired...the things i do to myself!I am guessing the clothes will have to wait. So if you see me in a tie n dye outfit, you will know why?

My brother finally came over yesterday and i told him about the gecko situation. He claims that the it can't be the same gecko, they must be many of them WTF! I looking to have my fears dispelled but now am officially spooked. I have a confession to make i hate animals...domestic or wild...it doesn't matter.I hate the way when you touch a dog it is all warm and hairy under your hands. The only time i appreciate animals is on post cards or stuffed animals...other than that, forget it.I remember some friends of my mama from overseas came to visit us and within no time the kids were trying to pet our neighbour's chicken and saying how cute it is O.o! That is walking food! babies are cute, teddy bears are cute, chicken is not cute...unless of course it's on my plate next to a plate of chapati or ugali.yum.lol.

Anyway I was tuning my transistor radio and i stopped when i heard Marcus' voice..its been long. That dude can do all accents, wish he did stand up comedy,i would pay to watch him perform. Forget the jokers( the so pun intended) who make a mockery of the art of stand up comedy in Kenya.He and the whats-her-face co host were talking about how women are going around talking about how their men don't listen. Some woman was saying how she and her friends formed some group were they go vent about their men- which to me is ridiculous. How do you go around telling people about how your husband is this or that and how he drives you insane but don't tell him?

The callers were calling in giving their two dollars(i would say cents but they don't mean jack with the Kenyan shilling which keeps weakening). They were even more ridiculous than the topic itself, all whining about how men don't listen and isht.

Here is the thing men listen but just not the way you want them to. Let me give you an example...i had a friend of the male persuasion in college who i gave the task of finding me a book that was needed in one of my literature classes. After a few days he had not communicated so i went to his room to confront his behind and found his room mate. He then told me he was away, while i was leaving the room i saw a sticker on his table written "find Vicky book". aaaawww! i know! he heard me and was working on it. True to his word after a week he had brought me the book which warmed the cockles of my heart. Last week i told my brother that i miss meat and asked him if he could get me some but he didn't say anything so i thought he forgot. This week he came over and asked me if i still want meat and gave me money.

This proves that they listen but take longer to process and reply. Us women when we are talking we like responding with ...wacha! he did what?...haki usiseme!...oooH!...ghai!...mamayo!...alafu! etc. Men usually just sit still which makes women feel like maybe they aren't listening. But they really listen.Even if you are talking and he is not looking at you he is listening. I know it is hard to believe but its true. I have seen it with my male friends and family. Like if you send a guy a text asking to meet in town at 2pm, he won't confirm with a text saying "ok" like us women do. So when it fikas 2pm, he is in town calling and asking where you are.They don't see the need to respond..si umesha sema? si amesikia? nini unataka tena? So if you want a response you better call and confirm to save your self some heartache. It is the same way they don't reply texts, they assume you were giving them information and they are not even aware they are supposed to give a response and you are next to the phone waiting with baited breath which will be followed by a sulk.

When i ask my uncle for mula via text he never responds and i think he is ignoring me. After a few weeks, my account gets credited which means during the days of silence he is looking for the money. In his mind he is not aware that i want him to send a text saying "i am looking for money for you". I hope you are getting where i am going with this.

So as a woman when you start nagging and threatening they become stubborn to get back at you. Tell a man something once and let it go, nagging hasn't got you anywhere so why try giving him some space to breathe? If it is something you can do yourself, jifanyie he will get the picture eventually. Somethings are just not worth loosing a relationship over.

I am one of those people who never used to believe in the stuff that Dr.Phil and other Family counselors advice. To me they sounded too absurd and unattainable or even not practical but over the years i have become a believer.I never even believed in getting counseling, to me it was for people who have mental problems/clinically insane or are kookoo. Sort of an admission of being weak and not being able to deal with problems.

But there is nothing wrong in seeking help from professionals.Personally i have been counseled by my close friends which is the reason why am cool with where my life is at. I have a friend who is a pastor who normally goes cold turkey on me and gives me advice which is what i would highly recommend everyone. Get someone you can talk to without fear or being judged. Youth pastors are good and they don't even charge you for it. But going to FB and starting pages where you gossip your husband is a new low for women.

Women just need to learn their men and know how to get through to them. Know the time of day when they are receptive to "we need to talk sessions". Stop reading those stupid How-to-make-him-listen magazines that are misleading. What worked for one woman won't necessarily work for your man. Every relationship is unique with its own dynamics, try to compromise and work it out between the two of you. Stay out of them Fb pages for whining-fests and pity-parties clothed as support groups lest you end up alone!

XEO3

Guess what woke me up today? no not my neighbour's clothes hung to close to my window such that i could hear the water drip( yes i slept on the couch..again! still scared of the gecko, i am a woman after all), not my neighbour's next doors kids yelling obscenities (potty mouths.smh), not some ninja outside trying to start his tired car (GET A NEW CAR ASSHOLE!!!). ION Don't you just hate those people who blog about every minute detail of their lives? like what they ate for lunch or about their sex lives or lack thereof or about their bowel movements ..blegh! Glad am not one of those. I woke up craving some good TV series and decided to watch some episodes of GIRLFRIENDS on youtube to entertain my bored self. I can't decide which character i identify with more but am a mixture of Joan and Lynn( please don't ask me how that's even possible).

Sooo anyway i decide to look up on good old (lynn) Persian white's background.

Turns out she has a teenage daughter. who knew! She also happens to be a vocalist and lyricist for an industrial rock band called XE03. Please don't ask me what industrial means..i dunno. I first learnt of rock music while in college so my knowledge is a bit challenged. Personally i like very soft rock like lifehouse,dido, Big daddy weave,Jeremy camp, Francesca Battisteli, natalie grant etc, that which i can hear the words- the screaming and yelling kind of scares me. I listened to a couple of songs by XE03 band and they kinda scared me. The images weren't helping either. This is the same reason why i never finished watching SUCKER PUNCH...the damn scary music in the background. There is something darkish about them. As in beautiful, yet darkish...sort of like Eminem...you want to listen to them, you are drawn to them but you are afraid of them at the same time... you know what i mean (i bet that's what my family and friends say about me behind my back lol).

Enuff talking, have a listen and tell me what you think! ta ta



ps. Am looking for a new church to visit in Nairobi maybe if you could give me referrals i will be grateful. The choir must be awesome, am anal about that! Thank you, that will be all.

my sojourn in Nairobi City

Guess what woke me up today? I know you are no psychic but just guess!
No not the alarm...not my neighbour's house help singing off key...not my siblings playing loud music. Its was a gecko!

It actually fell from the roof right next to my face and nearly gave me a heart attack. I wanted to scream but i didn't want to wake the neighbour's kid who cries over and over and over...ok you get the picture!I remained still so that it could go away without coming my way.

I felt relieved when it went away but it was soon replaced by fear. I mean if i couldn't see it then it could be anywhere including my bedsheets. I decided to remain in bed because it was warm then i heard another soft thud, the stupid gecko dropped on my bed...again! so i decided to wake up, obviously the ugly creature wasn't going to let me sleep. I know what you are thinking...that am probably making this stuff up, or maybe it wasn't even a gecko. Or it's Friday the 13th and am being paranoid for nothing. I know what i saw, my bed sheets are black and the gecko is white so it would be pretty hard to miss it, right?

Anyway, Happy new year again! I finally moved to Nairobi to try and find new opportunities(as my referee puts it). My parents had this bright idea to bring me all the way to my new casa via personal vehicle using shortcuts so now i don't know where i am or where to get a bus to town.true story! One minute i was in Parklands the next i was in a maze of roads going up... down...tunnels...i was too dizzy with trying to soak in the moment that i forgot to mark the routes we used #blondemoment.

I have been here for a short time and my old friends have sniffed me out, news sure does spread fast in this town. I am so excited that i may have overbooked my weekend. See anytime my Nairobi pals call me and ask for i date when we can hook up i find myself saying the weekend would be ideal so now i have too many people to see and so little time.

I have fallen in love with Nairobi all over again. Did you know they have banks, supermarkets, pubs, schools near residential areas? I can stay here in my house without even having to go into town to get anything. How awesome is that? I can even go into the bank with no bra with just my pj's on...bliss! The agency banking that is a foreign concept in my village is now a regular occurrence in Nairobi. No more queuing at the bank to check for your balance.For real i love you Nairobi!

There is running water, i can take a shower which is a contrast to what happens back in my village. The first time i had the toilet flush i almost had orgasmic seizures. I kept playing with the water in the shower that i used up all the water in the tank. But the watchie told me they pump it in the evening? I swear i love Nairobi!

I don't know why people whine about how Nairobi is this or that...I wouldn't trade it for anything right now. You even have someone who collects your garbage daily, i leave my shit outside the door and when i come back...poof! it's gone. Who needs a man to take out the trash anymore? These little privileges that the Nairobi people enjoy and take for granted.smh!

I only have one problem though,its too cold especially at night. My flat is in the middle of two tall buildings so we get no sun, fresh air or light. Clothes don't dry, since am on the first floor the person who hangs his clothes above mine lets the water drip on my clothes and gives me homicidal thoughts. The lights have to be on 24-7, so am thinking the bill is going to give me a mini-attack.lol.

Did i say one problem? i meant three! There is too much noise around here. We are near the road so the vehicles hooting, sirens, car alarms going off, people who have huge speakers in their cars and play loud music. The blaring music from inconsiderate neighbours, the babies playing in the stairs till late into the night which i don't understand. Why parents allow their children to play as late as midnight...where are the child services in this town? i mean this are school going children being deprived of sleep yawa! The fridge is too loud, the thingy that pumps water drives me insane and my neighbour upstairs is always pacing around or dragging stuff on the floor which is pretty anoying. I have even thought of where imma bury his body( i kid, i joke don't tell any one i said that). I wonder if i can report him for suspicious activities?

Finally the traffic jams! Imagine i can be like a five minutes walk from the house and a jam keeps me there for like one hour!!!I always want to get off, but i don't see anyone else moving so am thinking maybe its a faux pas. I'm still learning the way of carrying out myself like the town folk as there are so many things i still don't understand at all. Like how the women stay fresh, beautiful and hot all day! Do they even sweat or something. They look like they walked out of the covers of the glossy magazine i see in the magazine stands in my village. I could taste the rainbow with them tihihih. And the men...wolololo they make me wanna leave the one am with.gawd! They smell so good , wish i could live in their armpits forever. They are not only handsome, but they are beautiful men. These men were not made, they were created. They were created on a Monday when the Lord was not tired as he had just come from resting. Reminds me of Estelle's song -American boy, only in my case its -Nairobi Boy.

Anyway am here, i don't know for how long but i plan on enjoying every minute of my time here. Asante lovely people. Have great day!

ta ta