my sojourn in Eldama Ravine town

So me and good old mother have this mother-daughter feud going on. I decided to run away from home last month.

Yes am chicken shit and I always run away from my problems. Its much easier than arguing.

I did it in such a haste that I forgot to carry a couple of very essential things. so anyone planning on running away from home make sure you carry everything you need.

Instead of carrying my comfy bra I carried my “wonder bra” which always lifts and separates my charm and wit

yes that’s what I call my bossoms

but are uncomfortable af.

I don’t know why they call them wonder bras as they are not so wonderful. For one month I walked around with no bra.

It was very liberating

I forgot to carry my shaving cream too and there was no way in hell i was going to buy another one. I might as well let hair grow where it wants to. My dear creator has a reason for creating me this way. I was born this way hihihi...I will shave though...just not today.LOL.

Then it was that time of the month and there was no shop stocking tampons. The first day I had to settle for some weird sanitary towels that made this funny crackling noise when I walked. The under wear that I wore wasn’t helping either but
I wont describe it as I have already said too much. To cut the story short a good pal of mine sent someone to get me some from Nakuru. God bless her heart.

Anyways I had a good time with my bff, hot pancakes in the morning made with eggs from kuku kienyeji which gave them a yellowish colour. She is one of the best cooks i have ever met. Warm milk every night before i went to bed, made me feel so good.

Her son was also awesome with his lisp and unable to pronounce the letter "R".I especially looked forward to every meal just to hear him pray "Mungu bayiki chakula chetu.amen". Now i know why God loves children, they are so cute and loving. I remember giving him a lollipop and he was like "aunty i love you".

I swear i had this warm and fuzzy feeling in my belly and...no it wasnt gas!

She taught me a few marriage secrets which she made me promise not to tell a soul so I intend to take them to the grave with me. She so sweet I swear if she wasn’t married I would taste the rainbow with her...jk.

I also saw this strange cow

I don’t know if the owner has ever heard of dehorning

I ate in one of the local hotels

what!Am unemployed with no savings am living within my means like my mama taught me

Now tell me when was the last time any of you saw this machine?

I ate morik/odeyo/mokoro..i don’t know the English name for this…Someone please translate… it actually tasted awesome!

I missed blogging and there were no computers so I had to settle for this LOL.

There was this construction worker next door who had the hots for me so whenever I was "lighting up the jiko" I made sure I bent low enough to give him a lovely view.

It was nice being someone fantasy for two seconds I don’t know what celebrities always whine about.

So I was going through my pals movie collection and I came a cross a movie I had given her a long time ago “leaves of grass”.The funny thing i couldnt remember giving it to her, even though my name was scribbled on it.

The characters said something about it being dumb to fight with your mother blah blah blah.. made me feel kinda stupid.I had some kind of epiphany too but i will tell you all about it tomorrow.

Not to worry people I’ve stopped being an ass, kissed and made up with mama and am home right now. the sky has not fallen...yet.LOL.

Im exhausted...ill go sleep now, ta ta.

live and let live

I attended mostly Christian schools all my life.

I hate that phrase. ..all my life...sounds like I have lived for centuries.

So any ways am inclined to justify my belief system by referring to the Bible…which to be honest I don’t read as often as I should.

...I am a bad Christian…I am in the secret service army of the Lord...no its already taken by angels...
oh well!

Growing up we were told sex before marriage was bad and if a girl got pregnant… oh boy! did they let her have it. She became the warning sign for risky behaviour.

Unakaa nje mpaka saa hii? Unataka kupata mamba kama philgona?'was what our parents said over and over and over…you get the picture!

If the they abhorred heterosexual relations before marriage, imagine what they thought of gay people. Yes it was that bad. So bad that they had rules in my school that girls should not hold hands or walk together for too long. Imagine how we used to treat the new girls in school. If they tried to touch you. You’d turn ninja immediately and jump. It was actually amusing to watch.

I wish they knew the damage this did. I mean we didn’t even know what gay means being raised in the village and all until we met them.(By them I mean the school administration)

Infact they only taught us about ma-lesi (lesbians) and gay men I learnt much later in college.

This made me so self conscious that I could not hug a chic right…i used my hand as a buffer to prevent our breasts from brushing against each other because according to me I would go to hell.

I heard talks of gay boys being beaten up in boys high school. What’s worse was when they were “ caught in the act,” the younger one lied that he was raped to absolve all guilt he had.sad if you think about it. Its bad when we discriminate against gays but when they do that to each other it must really hurt.

Funny enough lesbianism isn't as frowned upon by the society as gayism in men. This if you ask me is another sort of discrimination.Like when i googled the male symbol it was easy to find and a little extra information on gayism. When i did the same for the lesbians i got very little(Just incase you are wondering why i chose to use the male symbols and left out the female symbols) In Kenya we keep talking about the poor boychild... and now i am worried for the poor gay boychild.

... what do i know...

I mean how was I supposed to accept that gay people are normal when some of the words we use implied they aren’t. you see when I say I am straight am implying a gay person is crooked. or am I thinking too much?

Personally I think what bothers people is what some gay guy called “the yuck factor”. As in we are grossed out by the thought of people of the same sex getting it on…as if heterosexual sex aint freaky too.

I remember this one time another preacher saying we should not have oral sex as the mouth is meant for eating…
...and am thinking my “pink Cadilla “ is for peeing too and
…come on you what imean.

no offence to anyone .o.k. yes offence.

im tired and my eyelids are getting heavier...tomorrow i promise i will get to the point...

PEACE.

what i should have known about blogging but didnt and now im paying for it in instalments.

I quit my job in June.

…see me and my employer had creative differences. They were creative, I wasn’t. lol.

Anyway I found myself with a lot of time on my hands and quite frankly didn’t know what to do with myself. Then my awesome sister @antwaRogue, God bless her heart, suggested I start a blog.

To be honest until June I knew nothing about blogging. O.k. I had read a few but I didn’t think I really had anything to tell the world but after the first post I was a believer.

For the first time in a long time I was doing something I loved. I have so much to say. I have even shocked myself a couple of times. Like this time I started writing an article set with a title and all but in the course of typing the article took a different turn and became something else. Ive never had that happen to me before.

Usually am predictable and my every move calculated. Blogging has opened my eyes to so many possibilities and found out stuff about myself that I never even knew.

…wish I had done this a long time ago. oh well am here and its not too late.

Then I started becoming scared because I discovered I was in way above my head. My writing is in chaos and its formless and so out there.

Apparently there’s more to the writing process, than merely putting your raw thoughts on paper.

Who would have thought.I mean @antwaRogue never gave me a manual or something. Not that im complaining or anything. She just gave me a computer and told me to go wild and that’s what I did. I didn’t even know there were boundaries. I remember someone reading a few of my articles and telling me “they aren’t creative and a little bit too revealing.

O.k. he put it more crudely but for the sake of my fragile ego I have rephrased it.

After that comment left a bad taste in my mouth I decided to turn it down a notch and I felt very constricted. Being nice and appropriate has never been my thing. Saying what you think people want to read sucks! Breaking my back trying to please “them”.

Who are them by the way?

I guess this are the things you should be warned about when you put yourself out there. Sometimes I wish I had used a pseudonym like all these other people are doing so that I can deal with negative criticism in private. It gets even worse when someone reads your article and the only things they get out of it is your grammatical mistakes. Ouch.

I think some veteran bloggers get annoyed when they see other bloggers struggling to come up. They feel like it’s a mockery of their work, a travesty of the art of blogging.

I have seen some of my old post and even I cringe so its understandable.

I remember asking one veteran blogger how to upload a picture. Oh boy! You should see the reply he gave me. I think I left my dignity in that chat, am yet to go back for it.lol.

A close friend read one of my articles and thought that it was a hit on her. She made me swear never to mention her here. The funny thing is that article had nothing to do with her. Now i have to think about every story i write if is refers to someone i know. Swear sometimes i feel like using the disclaimer that directors use at the beginning of the movie to avoid law suit.

There's this other reader who always reads my blogs and tear it apart every time. Its like the more critical he is of my articles the more progressive he feels. If it isn’t my Titles, then its my pictures , the length of the blog...there's just isn’t pleasing this person.

Wonder why he always gives himself a hernia reading my blogs while he could go watch paint dry.The weird thing is that that reader doesn’t even have a blog, go figure.

I swear if it wasn’t for my sister I would have gone Virginia tech on his judgmental behind. I mean if you don’t like a blog move on to the next there are millions of other blogs which are bound to tickle your fancy.

So these days I have decided to go with trial and error MO and let my imagination run free. And think outside the box.

Wait… ill throw away the box and just think.

Wonder why people always have to think next to a box.lol.

whose box is it any ways..i have never seen it.have you?

o.k. now am just talking nonsense, ill go now...