You didn’t think I was
through now did you? Clearly you do not know me... AT ALL!
So after we leave the
reception, me and Mr. Wonderful will wear our leather pant and jackets,
fingerless glove and boots then get on a motorbike and take a ride to the coast,
that is after we have gotten matching tattoos.
Relax people…I haven’t lost my marbles…yet! I’m kidding. We
will fly to the Kenyan coast and check in to a hotel next to a beach (obviously).
If the budget allows we might just go outside Kenya; any where with sandy
beaches (sand so fine as talcum powder) with breathtaking views of the turquoise
ocean-
don’t really care where as long as am with my soul mate! We wouldn’t pack much seeing as where we are going we
wouldn’t need much clothes*wink*. The only thing we will be wearing are smiles,
cologne (optional of course, they can be
overbearing sometimes), our wedding rings and of course our hearts on our
sleeves.lol.
Ok maybe even one or
six freakum dresses (remember Beyonce’s song with the same name) you know… to
spice things up!
We would frolic in the sand like a couple of kids and go
skinny dipping. Maybe even get sand stuck in our toes, backs…everywhere
including places where the sun don’t shine and I’m not talking about the mokonyo …tihihihi! If there are hammocks we would lie side by side as he reads
me Pablo Neruda’s love poems or any other poem. (I don’t discriminate). Us poets we are one big happy family!
He would
tell me how I complete him…
He would
tell me how he could be anywhere else but he’d rather be with me…
My beloved
would be mine… and his desire would be towards me …
(Ok I stole some of this from the book of Songs
of Solomon chapter 7 something; what are you going to do? tweet king Solomon?
*hides*
Come back Vicky *slaps self*
I’m thinking a place which looks more like the setting in
most Reggae music videos.
(When I was young I
always thought that Reggae artists come from a country shaped like a donut with
water all over and that’s why all their music videos are normally near the
beach. I used to wonder whether they had hotels or stadiums).
We would then order room service and lie next to each other
like Shakira does with what’s-his-face in the music video for the song “Gypsy”.
(That video kills me every time). They
look so sensual and not in a lewd way (at
least for the first part of the music video). We would then share our
secrets, scars and tattoos!
Maybe I will even do a little strut in the hotel lobby like
she does in the video seeing as I would have…wait…
( my kids might read
this someday and think their mama has glass heels in the closet and has spent
too much time on her back looking at the ceiling*if you know what I mean*).
One thing for sure though I will have this glow on my face
which you do not get from a cold shower or having a facial *wink twice*
If we are broke we will check in the Kenyan BnB, as in, bed-and-be-gone.
They give you the bed but not the breakfast. They do not have breakfast in the
package and check out time is as early as eight because they want to make room
for “day scholars” who want to have secret tryst in the hotel.
So I and the husband will go back home and enjoy what life
has to offer. We would save up and travel all over the world…
…go up Christ the
redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro maybe even get beauty secrets from their fine
Brazilian women, Burj Khalifa in Dubai, go up the Eiffle tower in France and
eat shokolat (chocolate- my attempt lame
attempt at copying the French accent) and drink some fine wine, visit the imposing
Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, Turkey. Go to Britain and maybe drink some Tanqueray
with Idris Elba, that is if his schedule is not so busy. Don’t forget to go to
Amsterdam and smoke some cannabis in their cannabis cafes without fear of being caugh( they still have the weed pass, right?). Kruger national
park in S.A would be cool to check out. Visit the land of chocolate, clocks and
cheese (Switzerland), and we wouldn’t mind getting fat as we would have ways
how to burn calories *wink*. Go to Agra, India and see the magnificent Taj Mahal (wish someone would build me one*dreamer much*) See the sky tower in China and the China wall of course. Go Turks and Caicos and maybe try the conch
penis they put in shots. Visit Uncle Sam, see the Madison square garden, the Yankee
stadium, the holly wood walk of fame, Brooklyn bridge and the statute of liberty, walk
on snow and get me a snow globe as a souvenir (tell me the song by Alicia Keys and Jay-Z song has made you curious
about New York? that is, you have never been there)etc.
See all those places I see on brochures, National Geographic,
movies and read about in books.
If for some reason I don’t get to go I hope my kids get to
go so that I can live vicariously through their lives. I will collect postcards
to stare at and think of what it’s like to be out there in the world.
Later on
we would check ourselves into an old age home when we retire. We would then share
vitamins, pain medicine, reading glasses and dentures. He would hold my hand
after my hip replacement surgery and I would hold his. We would dance to some
Tracy Chapman song to celebrate our new hips.lol. He would be my soul mate till
the grim reaper do us apart! We would have our bodies cremated then mixed with
concrete, poured into Indian Ocean to encourage coral growth. That is, assuming
Pwani doesn’t attain independence from our ostrich government. Alternatively we
will have one pickney, if he insists maybe two. We would then build a family
home complete with the white picket fence, porch swing n’sh*t. I would sit in
the porch and churn award winning novels every year till my last breathe.
We
would have a dog named Bosco and make sure it’s neutered (I mean puppies are so
messy). I will have two heifers named Daisy and Sunshine with lots of sheep and
chicken.When entering my compound you will be welcomed by a cocktail
of the unique animal dung smell (it’s a
farmers thing, you will never understand). I would have a vegetable garden in the kitchen with sukuma wiki, carrots, cabbages and
tomatoes. I would definitely have a couple of sunflowers in the compound; those
flowers do something to me y’all! I will have some trees then hung some wind
chimes complete with the “jeff koinange” bench where I would read awesome books.
(Bet you didn’t know I have green fingers!)
Then we would chase down a chicken every week both for the exercise and to
get dinner. I would proudly tell my guests “dinner is served…I killed it myself
this morning and oh while cooking me put my feet in it, so you better like it. bon
appétit”.
Aaahhh it will be good times!
No comments:
Post a Comment