I don’t, for the life of me, understand why
some people in this country still think sexual immorality is biggest sin in the
world. It is a sin like any other in the Bible; you know right up there with
stealing, lying, robbing the bank, corruption and killing... you know the usual!
There seems to be this feeling that people
who are promiscuous are “bad people” or that they are stupid. Personally I have
friends who gawa kama njugu and are
some of the smartest and most accomplished people I know. I do not think that
sex or lack thereof adds or deducts anything from your IQ. I always find it
galling how some people are so judging when they talk about people who are
promiscuous.
Thing is no one ever sets out to be a
cheater or plain promiscuous but after a series of bad choices they find them
selves in that predicament. It can happen to anyone and that’s why the Bible
warns that those who are standing should check themselves because anyone can
easily wreck themselves by being seduced into illicit sexual relationships. I
don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but anyone can be a cheater. What
some of us luck is guts, opportunity and resources to make it happen as that
song by rapper Juliani says “hawana doe
za lojo”
It was only matter of time before the
decadent lifestyle we have so embraced from developed countries caught up with
us. Its all those people who are acting surprised are the ones who I feel sorry
for the most.
A few weeks ago I heard in the news, a pig
ignorant couple beat their 13 year old daughter to death after they found her
with her boyfriend in the house in Nandi county. According to neighbours, the
couple beat the poor child for a whole hour and she succumbed to internal
bleeding on the way to the hospital. The rage they had against their besotted
daughter clouded their judgement. Not only did their judgmental asses lose
their daughter but now they are going to spend the rest of their lives known as the
couple who murdered their daughter.
(Although
I heard the father was sentenced to 8 hrs in prison) SMH
This shows you just how much parents need
to teach children about safe sex as opposed to pretending that our young people
are not having sex. Personally I'd rather be promiscuous than a murderer any day.
( I
don’t mean to be crass though, I’m just saying)
Now I don’t know if these kind of religious
zealots know that killing is also prohibited in the bible. God is just and he
will deal with them in due time. You don’t have to agree with people’s
lifestyle but they have as much right to be on this earth as you.
God allows the sun to shine on you and them
too because of his unconditional love. We all just need to find ways to
co-exist with each other and work on the things that we actually agree on. We
need to be able to separate the sin from the person. My brother always says
that just because you understand and accommodating of others doesn’t
necessarily mean you condone their lifestyle choices. It is just treating
others as you would like to be treated! Now if your milk of human kindness is
starting to cuddle, this is an encouragement to dig deep down in your heart and
try again.
I have a friend whose sister is promiscuous
and she treats her like a leper. It’s as if she is afraid if she touches her
hand she will catch, the promiscuity syndrome like a cold. She speaks to her with
so much disdain always castigating just because she is still a virgin. I don’t
know why some females feel just because you still have the hymen you are a
saint. The hymen had no effect on your character. That bit of skin doesn’t make
you less than or better than others.
When I talk to the two, I actually prefer
the promiscuous sister because she is so nice you want to eat her. She just
happens to make the wrong choices when it comes to men which don’t make her a
bad person. When I see her, I choose to see the good person that she is and not
her weakness. Because lets be honest we are not exactly paragons of morality
either, we have our faults too and we wouldn’t like people to throw them on our
faces all day.
A few years ago there was a picture of a
pastor and his lover doing rounds on the internet. They were busted while
having sex in a hotel, beaten up by the public and paraded naked to punish
them. I was appalled at how sanctimonious people were behaving by getting on
their high horses and calling them names. The idiots who were circulating the
pictures were also making it worse.
I’m not supporting adultery but these two
people have family and friends who genuinely care about them who I’m sure did
not appreciate the gross picture. This is so hypocritical considering that we
have a high rate of HIV/AIDS cases, illegitimate children and broken marriages.
Currently millions of people in Kenya are infected with the virus, and these are
the ones who have gone to the hospital. I bet there are plenty of others still
hiding their condition.
There many of us who aren’t exactly on the
straight and narrow, the only difference is that we haven’t been caught yet. No
one knows why they did what they did, but we have the law and he should have
been given the chance to apologise to his family and congregation then atone
for his sins.
In a country where sex is glorified left
right and centre what with all these radio stations discussing it every other
morning in their subliminal programmes and talk shows. It should not come as a
surprise that more young people are now having more sex much to the chagrin of the purist.
We see images of people with great bodies
having sex making young people think it’s a cool thing to do. I don’t see
anyone protesting! We have bill boards advertising condoms in broad daylight. Every
day we are inveigled with adverts with great jingles telling us how condoms
will show how we trust each other which is a load of cobblers because if I
trust you and you trust me, why use condoms? I mean where, pray, is the
sexually transmitted disease going to come from now that we really TRUST each
other? The irony is not lost on our very bright canoodling young people, so I
don’t know exactly who we are trying to fool.
Still I haven’t seen any religious leader
jump in and say they should be taken down which to me shows that they are
selective when administering justice.
I always get amused when I hear religious
zealots demonize sex. I don’t know which Bible they are reading but my bible
says the opposite...
“ For
the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb and her mouth is smother than
oil.”
Proverbs
5:3
Now
before you sharpen the pitchforks and burn me at the stake with them torches...let
me explain...
Using bogeyman stories to scare young
people into celibacy is counterproductive. I remember in high school they used
to scare us by showing us pictures of ugly shrivelled pudenda and hear horrifying
counts by people suffering from STI’s and HIV/AIDS.
(I
don’t know why the department of child services never jumped in to rescue our
innocent eyes from viewing such disturbing images)
They also lied how if you are a virgin people will
respect you until we reached college when we realized nobody gives a
toss what you do with your "chuchu". There was no one going around
giving glucose or rewards for those who have stayed sexually pure.
Well
we grew up discovered that sex is not as gross as they would like us to believe. God loves everyone. In the bible he even
used people who if were in our society now would
probably be discriminated against. God still used David and even called him “a
man after my own heart” despite the fact that he slept with Uriah’s wife. God
still used Abraham despite the fact that he slept with Hagar. Jesus forgave the
prostitute who almost got stoned by an irate mob. He even asked those who have
no sin to dare cast the first stone. We do not now why some people are addicted
to sex or circumstances that led them to adultery. God is able to forgive
adulterers just like he forgives everybody else. The key is to be remorseful
and try to change your ways. The rest of us can help these people by separating
the sin for the sinner. Treating them badly won’t make them change their ways.
Ask the personnel in prisons (I think correctional facilities is the PC word
used nowadays) how much recidivists they witness every year despite the harsh prison conditions and you will be
shocked.
Now the trouble of adultery and premarital
sex is not how it feels but the repercussions. The trail or broken hearts and
trouble it causes with some even losing their families because of it.
“Her
end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to
death...
Proverbs
5:4-5
That is where they should stress on when
trying to get young people to practice responsible sexual behaviour. The thing
that happens when you have sex with people you are not in relationship with is
that eventually you might become desensitized such that you won’t care who you
do it with. For the women the results are direr as they are more susceptible to
sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancies and emotional scars like feeling
used and being unworthy.people should practise safe sex and be responsible because its the right thing to do.
Parents should just find ways to teach
responsible sexually behaviour as opposed to resorting to violence, bogeyman
stories, promising imaginary rewards and public humiliation. It hasn’t worked so far from deterring others,
has it now?
Sexual immorality is not a big sin for our
God. I love the song Sinners Prayer by Dietrick Haddon that
says “am so glad that God still hears a sinner’s prayer”. Don’t write out
people who are trapped in sexual sin, God is able to deliver them too.
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