friendzone purgatory

If I had a dollar for anytime I heard a ninja whingeing about how he has been friend zoned I would be in the black. There is nothing as frustrating as being friend zone by a lady when you are harbouring unrequited feelings. Oh! The torture!

She air kisses you like your skin is contagious and all you can think of is shoving your tongue down her throat and play some tonsil tennis, tongue hockey n maybe throw in some groping championships. Every time she sits too close, you can smell her hair you go insane. When she touches you ooooh! Your loins are on fire. It takes all your energy to restrain from putting her on the table and spreading her like butter. She arouses emotions in you that you never even thought you had.

And like Lamar you ask yourself is there any justice in the world?

You love her from the crown of your head to the salt of your marrow all the way down to the soles of your feet but she don’t know! You think about her all night and dream about her all day.  You want to give her everything, the world even (that is, if you could) But she won’t let you. She tells you she wanna be friends when in your head you are thinking you want to do things to her(or is it for her?) that you don’t do to your friends. Ouch! 

You pay a kings ransom for exotic dinner and she barely touches it. Instead she is busy nibbling on the stupid salad. You take the long route home so that you drop her and her gaggle of friends home and they jump off with not so much as a thank you. In fact through out the whole ride she either has her head phones on or catching on some gossip with the girls. You are left to stare at the number plates of the cars in front of you to entertain yourself. 

 

You are handsome, amiable, have some cash and try to be in your best behaviour around her? But she still won’t let you in. And you wonder what you are doing wrong. She tells you, she loves you like a brother and in your head your thinking how you have more sisters than you know what to do with. Her rejection leaves you feeling inept and destroys what’s left of your already fragile ego. Winning her love is like trying to find Atlantis or the Holy Grail! 

gawd! this can make a great soppy country song!

You immediately go homicidal when you see some dude chatting her up and you already have a few places in mind where you would dump his body if you kill him. You wish she could look at you the way she looks at the oaf she is pinning for. *Bosco prolly doesn’t even know she exists.

Oh! Life can be so cruel sometimes!

So you are forced to swallow the bitter pill that is you have been FRIENDZONED BABY *Miguna shout*

 Now do you want some juice to down that pill? May be some ice? No? Ok as you were!

-so tonight as you have the second cold shower of the day and sleep in a foetal position with your hands between your legs thinking of “the one that got away before you even had her ” maybe you can put on this song by lemar and think of what could have been!  mmmuuuuhahahaha!