vickys secret

I have a confession to make. It’s not really a secret as such seeing as so many people know already, or at least they found out last week! I normally wear these cute spongy bras, which I believe people call the “wonder bra”. They usually come with some extra gel like thingy added at the base of the cup to give small chested women some boost (read the illusion of having bigger breast). It lifts and separated the bossoms and gives me the much needed cleavage. They are very expensive so I only have like two of those in my closet which I only wear when am going out.

So last week my pals made a surprise visit and called me to join them in town. Unfortunately my “wonder bras” were dirty so I had to wear the other regular ones. I thought my friends wouldn’t notice but if they did it wouldn’t matter since they love me to deff! No sooner had I sat down than one of my pals pointed out my “small girls” and everyone started giving in their two cents on how am always false advertising when I put on my other bras, ati size matters and stuff. Some ninja even decided to give us TMI by saying how if it doesn’t fill his palm its too small, if it spills then breast reduction surgery is an option!. Boy… did they let me have it!

First of all I never wear those bras to intentionally deceive anyone; it’s just that if I don’t wear them I look unproportional considering I have a rhinocerous ass. It’s about accentuating my best features and giving a boost to my not so flattering features. But my friends would hear none of it ( I should change friends already!)

Then one of my friends decides to encourage me by pointing out there are plenty of other beautiful small chested women like Zoe Saldana, Tracee Ellis Ross, Jada Pinkett and Keri Hilson who are making it in their respective careers. The pep talk was going well and I was getting pretty uplifted until he compared me to his cow back as home which he tells me has a small udder but gives him enough milk for family consumption and he sells the rest to his neighbours. Now you see why I like my men quiet? How in the world do you compare a lady (yes I said Lady) to a heifer?

Anyhoo so I figured since I have been found out I might as well come clean! Am a small chested woman and am proud. Good thing my body is flawless thanks to this new cocoa butter lotion that I bought. And I know Jesus is coming for me after Armageddon seeing as the good book says he is coming for a church without blemish-ha in your face haters! lol