It all begun last night…
I couldn’t sleep last night… I remembered the story about the building which was almost collapsing in Kahawa Wendani estate in Nairobi and I had this crazy feeling that maybe this building that I live in would collapse. I know its crazy, but after midnight it’s kinda hard to think clearly.
I put on my jumper (is this English?) and went to inspect the building my self… I will be damned if I die before valentines. Not that I care that much about the day but its just that if I die my family-who love valentines btw-will now hate it because it will remind them of the day/month I died – see…told you I was selfless!
I only managed up to fourth floor. I really need to work out! I was out of breath and was sweating buckets and all. But I think fourth floor is good enough to give me the state the building is in.
Then I started feeling dumb for being paranoid. It’s bad enough that am sleeping on the couch because of the gecko, but this is just ridiculous.
Fast forward to lunch time. I had a small altercation with some short guy who am pretty sure was suffers from SMS (you know…short man syndrome). I don’t know if it’s a really disease but the way this dude was behaving convinced me that he had it. I would really love to tell you what it was about but I have been told am too revealing so let’s leave it at that…for now!
I was going nowhere with him so I let it slide. Why is it that when you have an argument with someone and you walk away that’s when you start finding bad things to say to them. Things that would definitely hurt them as much as they hurt you. dang!
I tried to stay in the house and calm down but I couldn’t. So I decided to go back and beat the daylights out of him. see he was really short and skinny so I figured I could take him down. I removed my glasses and my earrings and smeared Vaseline on my face just in case he fought like a girl and walked back to where he was.
When I got there, I lost my nerve. I couldn’t do it. It didn’t help that his boys had gathered around him either. Then it downed on me… am chicken shit! I can’t even stand up for myself. I can’t even argue no more. Im loosing the art of confrontation that i use to have. I always remember what I should have said after I leave. Ain’t that just the most saddest thing you have ever heard?
The list of the stuff am afraid of seems to be growing daily. I fear lifts(elevators for some of you) and the escalator at nakumatt lifestyle damn near gave me a coronary thrombosis. I hate animals and insects with a passion, of course I wouldn’t harm them but I can’t stand them. I went to visit a pal of mine and the cat was super friendly. It kept jumping on my laps and I couldn’t stop screaming.
I have a big body with a big voice which I can easily use to bully people into doing what I want but its not working for me. I get tired of arguing these days. Why just yesterday I met a woman in mat and she was going to the Easy coach offices near railways and I was going in the opposite direction. She was carrying a baby with lots of bags and asked me to help. I found myself carrying her bags which were friggin heavy(what do women carry in their bags? anvils?) and followed her all the way there without even protesting.
Could it be that am becoming yellow? Am I loosing my (imaginary )cohunes. Should start printing out T-shirts written –WELCOME HOME DOORMAT, to make it easier for people to walk all over me.
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