women are crazy...literally!

All women are born evil.Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
Chad A.Gamble

…I found one man in a thousand that I could respect(upright), but not one woman…
Ecclesiastes 7:28

…women are the root of all my troubles, women are the root of all my woes, once I was so gay and so full of laughter, now worry is all that I know, don’t never let a woman come near, especially when she calls you dear…
-Blues song-

...That's the thing about girls.Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.girls.(*blasphemy*). they can drive you crazy.they really can!
-The Catcher in the Rye pg93

Women are crazy! Yeah I said it! I should know am one of them. I bet some of you right now are fixing to chase me down the village with torches and pitchforks. Now before you get all hot and bothered please read on. You don’t have to thank me later, you can thank me now- you are welcome!

Ever notice how men are always happy when they are young and carefree? Then everything starts to go south when they discover women and it gets worse when they discover “senior relations”? yep it’s the “rogue effect”.

Let me explain..

In the movie X-men there’s a character called Rogue. What? You’ve never heard of it? Gawd know your movies people...know your movies! Anyhoo the character has the latent mutant power to absorb the life energy and psyche of others through skin to skin contact. In the movie she tried kissing some dude and damn near killed him. He went into a comma though and Rogue now has to wear body-concealing clothing to eliminate the possibility of accidental skin contact.

Me thinks the Kenyan woman is quickly going “rogue” too. What with all the things women are doing to men these days. If men are vampires then women are rogue. See how Sookie is able to subdue the wild side of Bill with just her feminine charm. So if they(women) are not draining life from you...

...then they have protected/concealed their heart to avoid any form of intimacy with you to avoid getting hurt.

If you thought men were bad sweety you have no idea what women are doing in secret. I know a chiq who is living with a man she hates and he has no idea. She just tolerates him because he pays the bills and she is jobless. (She has aborted many of his unborn children and ninja has no clue. I think there should be a way men can sue chiqs who abort children they have sired. I tried to access the miracle pill for aborting (no am not pregnant, was just curious) I was told its 5000/ and you need references to get it. Some clinical officers discovered that this particular drug has a side effect of removing fetuses easily from the uterus without any damage to the uterus. You just bleed for 3-5days and BAM! you are unpregnant)Poor dude has no idea what’s in store for him. The day she will get that job: God help him.

I know of women who are keeping secret accounts/property from their beaus. Some even have children they are keeping secret from their husbands. There’s even this story of women killing their husbands slowly by putting glass powder in their food. Apparently it slowly corrodes the insides of his stomach and gives him ulcers which eventually kill him. I don’t know if it works though and I don’t want to find out.

If you go to Women’s prisons am told 90% of the women are there because of a man. It could be because he lied, stole, cheated, raped etc. Gives meaning to the phrase ‘hell hath no fury than woman scorned’.

I also learnt that when women have their periods due to the hormonal imbalance they go insane; seriously we are kookoo a few days a month. The female skin also changes depending on their diet, hormones, stress levels etc (forget chameleons). Some claim that most female offenders committed crimes when they were on their period. I hear prison matrons normally ask the new inmates when was their last period and on which day did they commit the crime (shit just got serious men). You are living with a woman who should be in a straight jacket for 3-5days every month. If the series Casefiles on KTN is anything to go by then we are in trouble! Explains why we have been having cases of men being bobbited in Kenya, women are going f-ing insane. Told you to invest in metallic jock straps but who listens to me anymore.SMH

Btw you need to watch ‘CHICAGO’ it’s a musical with a great storyline about female offenders. Its hilarious