Father Frank by Paul Burke

The book begins with the protagonist Francis Dempsey who doesn’t believe in God and spends most of the time in church during mass just day dreaming. His father who is a devout catholic nudges him to listen to the whole church service. He doesn’t understand how the tiny round wafer is possibly the body of Christ and the bottle of Mosaic Cyprus Sherry his blood. And if it were why people would want to drink it? He finds the term “good Friday” a misnomer especially since they ban all forms of pleasure during Easter. He looks at the picture of Christ and wonders how we know he looks like that yet none of the gospels contain a reference of exactly what he looked like. He reckons the praises that are heaped on Jesus sound like groveling and sycophancy. 

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He finds kneeling beside a wardrobe telling a strange man your innermost secrets strange. He has problems with wrapping his head around the notion of papal infallibility. Anyone who is curious about the catholic church will find this book useful and informative. Having gone to a catholic high school myself I was able to understand some of the things we did in church back then. He questions everything about the church but doesn’t dare saying it openly, if anything he feels guilty for entertaining such thoughts. He there is a higher power but admits he has trouble believing some things he is taught in church. He argues that the Catholic Church should have stuck to using Latin in during mass as it made it more spiritual; it put the ‘Roman’ back into Roman catholic. He thinks that the Catholic Church started declining when they started doing mass in English and because some meaning got lost in translation some of the things started to sound meaningless to the faithful..

He failed in high school and gets a D, E and O in that order in the 3 subjects that he did. He finds this funny especially since DEO means “God” in Latin and he doesn’t believe in him. After high school he works as a Dj and enjoys it immensely although it is not seen as a real job in his family. He knows sooner or later he has to get a “real job”. As the plot develops, through a series of very interesting events he gets a chance to go study theology in Oxford University. His date with Mandy Wheeler, the–most-beautiful-girl-in-north-west-London, is disastrous and he decides that if he can’t find Mandy attractive then he might as well become a priest. Those who know him well like his sister are skeptical whether he will able to survive priesthood, especially the part about celibacy!

Contrary to the people’s opinion, Francis leaves behind his over-active sex life, he finds fulfillment as a priest helping people despite the fact that he still doesn’t believe in God. He goes by the title “Father Frank” which is the title of the book. He genuinely loves people and enjoys helping around in the parish. The congregation too loves him and he manages to rally the community together and give the whole neighbor hood a pleasant change.

The whole book is funny following his antics in the London parish, which reminds me of Whoopie Goldberg’s character in SISTER ACT. He drives a taxi, which one parishioner left for him in his will, to raise money for his parish. He tries to open a packet of Kit Kat without making any sound while listening to people’s confessions. He uses thick knitting needless to play the drums using old boxes in his office. The thoughts that go through his head when talking to his parishioners are hilarious. He manages to get away with not believing in God and no one finds this out until much later in the book.

His love of music develops into a habit of going to peoples houses and collecting records under the guise of wanting to sell them to raise money for the church. His taste in music is eclectic as seen by his collection of a wide array of records from rock n roll, Motown, funk, punk and rap. The writer mentions famous singers like the beetles, Marvin gaye,Elvis presely, Isley brothers, Dusty springfield, Donny Hathaway, Sinatra, Simply red, Jim reeves, Michael Bolton, Light house family and James brown. There others that I’m not au fait with like, Brenda Shine, Billy paul, William De Vaughans, Clarence carter, Sandy Nelson, The surfaris, Tom Jones, the valentine brothers, Human league, Rod stewart and the faces, Cozy powell, Levi Stubb, Roy Orbinson, The drifters, Leo sayer, Charllie Rich, led Zeppelin, Genesis, Harry Belafonte, Dean Martin, The Pogues, Gilbert O’Sullivan, Kevin Johnson, Brian Protheroe, Meltorme, The Omens, Faron Young, Ella Fitzgerald, Engelbert Humperdick and Sam and dave. Father frank reckons ‘ A quick examination of musical taste was an almost fool proof guide to somebody’s character’. This is the second book that I have read this year to make the same observation (I wonder what my taste in music says about me?)

As a Dj he knew how to bring the people together and have fun. He also knew how to sense people’s moods which helped him in church too to deliver the appropriate sermon. This makes him a darling to all the parishioners that he serves. Everything is going well until he  lovely Sarah Marshall steps into his black taxi a Suzuki X7 then his life starts to turn upside down. His inner and outer turmoil begins which forces him to make another life altering decision. This book is hilarious and any one should read it, no matter their religious persuasion.

p.s. Don’t worry it has a very happy ending.

What do Catholic priests have over Baptist pastors or Anglican vicars that make them so popular with writers of fiction? In a word: celibacy.

-Greg spearritt-