Religion in relationships

Relationships are hard work even if the conditions are perfect eg you both are great people, wonderful personalities, great jobs, supportive in-laws etc. Now throw in a few challenges like different tribes, mean in laws, different social/economic backgrounds etc and see how it gets messier. I always recommend that people hook-up with people who they have more similarities than differences...but what do i know?

Anyhu, did you know that among the top reasons why people get divorced one of them is attributed to religious differences? Yup, Truestory!

It’s mostly difficult when your spouse decides to make a lifestyle change like, say- take up a new religion which you had not anticipated.

Will your relationship survive if your lover picks up a new quasi religion with poleaxing practises such as drinking their urine, eating the baby’s placenta, talking to the dead with Ouija board and all?

Now this is what they should include in them premarital counselling classes.

Remember in the book I reviewed “PS-I scored the bridesmaids” the protagonist’s girlfriend decides to get him on a diet and he ends up being unable to go for number too in the bog.LOL!

I was talking to my friend and I happened to mention that you cannot ignore your better half’s religion and she brushed me off. She argues that love is enough and religion is, in her words “no biggie”.

Nobody ever listens to me... sigh!

Well a few days later she was invited by her boyfriend to attend their church then reality set in. She did not understand what was going on from beginning of the Church service to the end. She later called me all careworn as things went pear-shaped asking me what is she going to do and I didn’t have the heart to tell her – told you so! Now she is engulfed in a maelstrom which she is not sure how she will get out of.

Another friend of mine also invited her boyfriend to our very charismatic church where we leave it all on the church floor when it comes to worship. Nothing is too good for our dear Lord. I’m talking speaking-in-tongues, falling on the floor flailing, jumping-up-and-down, shouting and all, kind of service. He being a foreigner found all this very amusing and actually whipped out his camera and started shooting. After church he was mimicking the words the woman speaking in tongues next to us was uttering. He couldn’t stop laughing all the way from church. Our peculiar worshipping habits had given the guy a mother lode of material to mock as with. My friend and I were so embarrassed and annoyed we never talked the whole way home.

The lady who does my hair decided to ask me a few questions about “my people”

(Remember here I appointed my self a spokes person job. You all know I never mind my own business, I mean when there’s all other people’s business waiting for me to mind.lol)

Her husbands subscribes to one of those religious cults commonly found in western and Nyanza province in Kenya. They (the faithfully fellow worshippers) came into the house for a worship sessions and scared the hell into the poor girl. They were lighting candles, singing in unintelligible words and dancing around the house. The leader proceeded to drink water and spit on all of them and nearly ruined her new luxurious expensive weave with saliva and H20. Now the part that made her hackles rise was when she was asked to give her underwear so that they could pray for her and her husbands union to be cemented. She then opted out and her husband is now giving her the silent treatment.

I remember we argued with another young man who could not understand why I tithe. He said there was not way in hell (yes he said hell) he was going to give some pastor his hard earned money. According to him all pastors are lazy and want to live off their congregation. Eventually I got tired of his blasphemous jokes and moved on.

Did you know there are some Christians who do not believe in celebrating your birthday? According to them some woman ruined it when she asked an assassin to bring the head of a certain guy she wanted dead as proof of a job well done (they didn’t have polaroids then, you see). Now the head was presented during someone’s birthday and ruined it for everyone else. So you definitely know Christmas is also out of question. Blimey, Imagine no Christmas! I would die slowly every year especially if I have children who want to celebrate their birthdays like their friends do.

Some religions abhor eating meat. Imagine no juicy steak for you, no more nyama choma sunday afternoons.oh! I would die!

Some religions also don’t allow for postmortems, so if God forbid somebody efs you then we will never know the C.O.D ( I should stop watching them CSI series.LOL). There are those which do not allow blood transfusion so if again God forbid you should need blood, you will have to revise your will or cross your fingers and hope the grim reaper does not come for you.

When the bible said you cannot be equally yoked with an unbeliever, I think it was meant to warn us about being unable to be on the same page with non believers. Religion is very important. Your belief system affects how you relate with yourself and the rest of the world. It will influence how you raise your children. It literally dictates how we live every sphere of our lives so it will definitely affect everyone we live with especially the spouses.

The excuse I hear women use is that it doesn't matter, besides i don't go to church anymore ...blah ..blah ...blah. Thing is you never know when the long arm of the Lord will catch up with you or your spouse and you decided to take your spiritual life seriously.

This is especially crucial for women because they are the ones who are supposed to follow the man who is the head of the home. You need to ask yourself if you can subscribe to their way of worship. You have to be familiar with their beliefs and see if you can integrate it into every sphere of your life. Are you willing to chew the placenta? Are you willing to forgo the birthday? are you willing to go to that church that the preacher talks as if your are half deaf(never mind he has a microphone)? Do you want to go to the church they pray for a whole day?

Most women can fake their way out of anything but if your husband is a religious leader then there is definitely going to be a few hard questions you need to ask yourself. I don’t want to scare anyone but I just thought I would put it out there. At least you won’t say I didn’t warn you!