Tuesday 23 August 2011

can my uterus breath a second? please? thank you.


I turned twenty seven in May. Yes am approaching the big three O and am embracing all the changes that comes with being older...

The stretch marks: My kid sister asked me if I was involved in an accident that gave me the marks on my back and I sat her down and explained to her what stretch marks are.

the worst 10 minutes of my life ill never get back.

Did you know that only 70% of women suffer stretch marks, guess the other 30% enjoy it.lol


...and apparently there's no cure for stretch marks but cocoa butter is good for improving the appearance.Life is so cruel!


Putting on weight or lets just say the being soft in the middle change: being addressed as mama as opposed to aunty by the kondis kwa matatu(taxi for some of you).

The students that I taught along time ago giving me seats in the bus.

they are so sweet

...dont get me started on my friends asking me if i am pregnant when the see the ka small bulge on my stomach.

...filling out forms and having to fill out N/A on the number of children and single for the marital status question. Why cant they just have different forms for single women?

...the hospital visits are torture.What with the doctors always asking if i am preggers before attending to me.

...i wasn't pregnant last month, and no i am not pregnant now and tomorrow doesn't look good either. If i get pregnant, i will let you know doctor. thank you

Being hit on by older men who don’t hesitate to say they don’t want jokes as they are seriously looking for a wife. I’ve even been asked for my five year plan on a date.

Jeez! When dating become so complicated?I only left the dating seen for a second. Its now more of an interrogation than a social affair.

Any way I was so excited to reach 27 and in my mind I thought I would be older and wiser making my own decisions without being influenced or pressurized by anyone. Live my life as a saw fit and not explain anything to anybody. I think I rejoiced too soon. I’ve learnt the hard way that peer pressure doesn’t end when you grow older, it gets even worse.

All of a sudden, am hearing talks of children and marriage and all that comes with it all over the place. My grandma wants to know when misee(my man) is bringing the cows. My mama wants two boys and two girls.

She doesnt ask for much does she?

My siblings are already telling me the stuff they are going to do to my children when they arrive. Its like everybody around me has plans for my uterus except me.
Even my neighbours daughter came to ask me where is my child. I’m guessing her mama put her up to it.

That heifer mssschew


...and people asking me how comes i don't have a child. How I'm i supposed to answer that really???

Don’t get me wrong I love children to def. I normally babysit for my mamas friends and we get along just fine, although this one time I forgot to feed baby Neema and she whispered in my ear, "aunty naumwa na tumbo” and I got the message.

See I understand baby language.

I look forward to being somebody’s wife and it would even be a greater honour to be somebody’s mother but not right now.


There are one or six things that I need to do first.

get a sperm donor for starters.

But in the mean time I wish everyone would just back off and let me breath a second.Who needs a biological clock when you have a family/friends like mine to constantly ring the alarm loud for the uterus to deliver the goods(forgive the pun)lol

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