A guide to successful sulking

One day this guy went to the office with new clothes. The next day he came with new clothes again, like he had worn them straight from the store. On the third day his friends got curious. After his friends prodded him they discovered that he went home late on Sunday and the wife refused to open the door and told him to go back to wherever he had come from.

The dude check him self into a hotel and started going to and from work from there.This continued for a week until the wife got scared and went to pick him from the hotel. This dude is my hero. Now that's what i call successful sulking!

I don't like sulking but some people have this habit of bringing out the worst in you and you resort to sulking to avoid getting pissed further. The more you talk the more they bull shit you. Silence then becomes the best weapon. Like this dude for instance, being chased away from a house which is paying morgage. The door that he bought is locked and the wife even didnt have the decency to hear the reason for his lateness.

Personally if somebody sulks for me(akinifuria) i give it back to them twice the time they took to sulk...sorta like my own secret justice(yeah i know am shallow.sue me)

I watched a movie a few years back and this dudes story reminded me of it. I cant remember well but i think the movie was 'my five girlfriends'. The movie gave the rules for sulking and ive decided to share them with you, enjoy!

1. the sulk must be sparked by some wrong doing, the more trivial the better.

2. the punishment inflicted by the sulk must be disproportionately large in relation to the original offense.

3. beware of making the sulk too short and therefore not allowing sufficient guilt to build up in the sulked.

4. the sulk should never be about the incident that sparked it

5. the sulk should be gauged a success if and only if, the sulker has to be talked out of the sulk by the sulked.

are you a vampire?

Still on vampires…their reputation as repugnant “dead creatures” have over the years changed. They have become something of fascination in the 21st century. They have evolved to super hero status overshadowing mummies, zombies, Dracula, werewolves etc.

Vampires have inspires movies and TV series like Trueblood, the twilight series, gates, vampire diaries, vampires assistant, blade etc.

My personal favourite is Trueblood.

Why I like it? It humanizes vampires such that they don’t come out as vile creatures. I am currently watching season three and so stoked for season four (I know what I want for Christmas*hint, hint*).

The story revolves around Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) a human in love with a vampire - Bill Compton(Stephen Moyer). It doesn’t hurt that Sookie is beautiful with a nice gap in her teeth and nice tushy. Rumour has it that she is bi(am not implying anything here). Bill is also easy on the eye. I mean who doesn’t want to do “bad things” to him? and the two characters are married in real lfe too...aaawww. Theres a character called Kenya n TrueBlood and am Kenyan so hey...

The series is based on the books ‘The sookie Stackhouse mysteries’ by charlaine Harris.

The movie had me at the theme song at the beginning : Bad things by Jace Everett.

…When you came in the air went out, and every shadow filled up with doubt,
I don’t know who you think you are but before the night is through I wanna do bad things to you…

-you can check out the video.

The images at the beginning are a bit disturbing though. I get the feeling as if they are mocking Christianity but maybe its all in my head..i dunno. I also hate that they have introduced other creatures like werewolves, shape shifters, witches,, fairies, (sookie having super powers?)...but they don’t take the thunder from the vampires though. Have to warn all the prudes that there’s a lot of SNL in season three so make sure there are no kids around. The “relations” which are not of the straight persuasions are many here so if you are conservative don’t even bother watching.

There’s a lot of humour too e.g. Bill is being served blood and the host describes the blood as – chilled carbonated blood, cruelty free, willingly donated- as if it should make him feel better. Its sorta like how they write on some products –not tasted on animals for the benefit of the animal rights activists and our conscience. (personally i think if they don’t test it on animals they are testing it on me) read “what you don’t know may kill you” on mademoisellerogue.blogspot.com and see what I mean.

…Not now dufus! later! am still talking here.smh
So in my search for vampire info I came across a group of people who are convinced they are vampires. They even have parties where they drink each others blood ( and you thought I lost my marbles)

There’s even a list of questions to know if you are a vampire.(if I didnt know any better I would think I was a vampire. haha.

You can also do the vampire test too.

1. Are you sensitive to light/sunshine?
Am shortsighted and can’t see a thing without my tinted glasses

2. Are you good looking and freakishly handsome?
Check my avi. need I say more!

3. Do you hate garlic?
I ain’t particularly thrilled by garlic in my food.

4. Is your night vision better than your day?
Notice all my blogs are updated are after midnight.

5. Do you have trouble sleeping and are a night person?
See point four.

6. Can’t take photos or dislike the mirror?
Am not crazy about photos or mirrors. See profle pic.

7. Cannot enter a house unless invited?
Am well mannered. does that count?

8. Can you get others to do stuff through mind control?
You are reading my blog aren’t you?

9. Do you inspire fear in others?
Admit it, I scare the isht out of you.don i?

10. Do you have heightened sense of hearing?
I always know when my nephew is in trouble even if hes nextdoor.

11. Are you strong without gong to the gym?
Check out my guns gggrrrlll!

12. Are you cold to touch?
Have sweaty palms, does that count?

13. Are you uncomfortable sleeping in new environment?
Ive never left my village, except maybe when I went to college.

14. Do you love eating/drinking blood?
I loved mutura until I read Genesis9:4 and had to stop.

15. Do you have trouble crossing running water?
Am afraid of heights and especially bridges.

16. Do you live in a dimly lit house and love the dark
Am not afraid of the dark: my bedsheets are black btw.

17. Can you die if stacked, burned, decapitated?
Duh!

18. Do you hate silver?
Got nothing against silver but me thinks gold and diamond are a girls best friend

See am no vampire.lol. now you try it…

know your vampire

You are prolly wondering why am so obsessed with vampires huh?

And you are thinking am going to tell you right?

Wrong! Dunno either.

Know most of you already know what a vampire is and you want to me to STFU but its my blog and I get to do whatever I want so the sooner you put that n your pipe and smoke it, the easier you will breathe dear…muuhahahah

Vampires are mythological/folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on human blood and other living creatures. They are also believed to be humans who died and came back in their original body. Legend has it that people who died unnatural/premature death/violent deaths came back as vampires.

They include:-

- Hanged especially after being wrongly accused

- committed suicide

- born with deformities

- A child who died before baptism

- If you are the seventh child of the same sex in terms of birth order (you all know seven is some kind of important/magical number: the smallest prime number, James Bond’s secret agent no. 007, rugby seven aside, snow white and the seven dwarfs, forgive 7 times 77 times in the bible, Jesus was the 77th in the genealogy records etc)

The stories of vampires begun during unexplained misfortunes like famine, death, and disease. The belief became so persuasive that in some towns it caused mass hysteria that sometimes led to public execution of suspected vampires

To curb vampires people would visit the grave regularly. If there was an opened grave or a sunken grave they would retrieve the body and check it out. In some places they would take a virgin boy on a virgin stallion and make it pass in the grave yard if the horse balked on a grave it was retrieved and examined (i wonder if today they can find any virgin boys now to help root out vampires.lol.

The corpse of vampires were generally described as having healthier appearance than expected, plump and showing little or no decomposition. Sometimes had some trickle of blood on the side of the mouth (interpreted as having recently suck blood)

Scientist on the other side say that sometimes in winter the bodies don’t decompose. This causes the intestines to bloat which forces blood up in the mouth which explains the blood trickle on the side of the mouth.

Well now you know. Ta ta