Revenge is a dish best not served at all

In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy, but in passing it over he is superior. 

FRANCIS BACON, Essays

The man who seeks revenge digs two graves.

KEN KESEY, Sometimes a Great Notion

When we take revenge against another, we lose some of our innocence.
PATRICE REDD VECCHIONE, Revenge and Forgiveness 

Revenge, at first though sweet,

Bitter ere long back on itself recoils. 

JOHN MILTON, Paradise Lost

Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.
AUSTIN O'MALLEY, Keystones of Thought

Has someone ever borrowed something from you for so long that you have to borrow it back? Well it happened to me a few months ago. I had forgotten this thing I had lent some guy for so long that I actually tried looking for it in the house.

When I remembered he had it, I called to ask for it back. Not only had he lost it but he made sure to tell me so in a brusque tone. He wasn’t even a wee bit remorseful for being so careless. He went ahead to ask me to calculate how much the aforementioned thing cost so that he could M-pesa the money. At this point you all know my blood is boiling and I’m near homicidal. 

Its not about the thing, it’s the principle. 

All he had to do was tell me he misplaced it and I would have let it go especially since it wasn’t that important. It’s his attitude and tone of voice that made my hackles rise.

So that’s when all hell broke loose and we engaged in angry discourse sending each other one angry text message after another. I felt that the characters allowed per text message were not enough to tell this man what I thought of him.I really wanted to give him a hurt real bad *Russel Peters voice*

 I moved the conversation to email and proceeded to insult him, his family and generally called him every dirty word I could think of. What got my goats was when he started invoking the name of God to make me back down. Eventually I realized the conversation was not getting me anywhere close to him apologising, so I logged off! I must have been really angry because I actually had a dream that I was punching him in the face. Oh if only dreams came true.LOL!

I read my emails again yesterday and I was shocked at the things I had written to the poor man. If he decides to sue my behind he can actually get a pretty sum. And that, ladies and gentleman is the reason why you should not go on a revenge mission on anyone who wrongs you. Pretty soon no one will be able to tell the difference between you two! That’s why when you are angry people say, “He/she is so mad”. You literally go insane for a few seconds and start acting a fool like yours truly did!

Human beings do not know how to handle revenge, am guessing that’s why God said it should be left to him. While human beings are fair God is not fair he is just. He knows exactly how to chastise people and bring about a change in behaviour. He goes to where it all started and deals with the issues from the root. When we decide to revenge we are so consumed by hate and want to hurt the person who wronged us so bad that we don’t really care about anything else

I was talking to a lady last week who had very horrible things to say about her father. He was a consummate Womanizer who didn’t hide his decadent lifestyle. He slept pretty much with anything he came across that had a cervix to the indignation of his family. He was constantly sexually harassing women he came across from the house help to the shop keepers and even his female colleagues at work. The mother was constantly being approached by irate women telling her to keep her horny husband on a short leash and fulfill her "wifely duties".

Since she talked about him so much I was curious to know where he was or what he did for a living. Get this; he died almost five years ago! Personally I think if I hate someone and they die I feel kind of weird being mad at them. Death is pretty serious; it gets you away from your loved ones which is the worst punishment that can happen to anyone, I think. I mean I wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy! But not this lady, she has so much bile that she talks about him as if he were still alive. This shows you just how insatiable human beings can be on their quest for revenge. When someone hurts you no matter how much pain you cause them, it doesn't do much to assuage the feeling of pain and betrayal that you feel.

Another lady who also has a philandering husband despite the fact that she has stayed on the straight and narrow all her life advised me to make sure to whore my self around before settling down. She argues that since all men ain’t shite, I should just go ahead and bang any male I come across before jumping the broom. According to her I should punish a man, who I haven’t even married, for a mistake he is yet to commit? I don’t know about you but I think this is a whole load of bs. If this was a way of making the pain of betrayal from infidelity hurt less then by now all psychologist in the world would be recommending it to ladies. The way I see it this young lady thought she should be rewarded with a faithful man for being "good".

You should be good for your self and God, not for anyone else. So unless there is someone going around the country rewarding anyone who has been good (like Santa Claus), you are pretty much on your own on this one. 

The last time we talked she was talking revenge and I can already predict it is not going to end well especially since there are children involved who will definitely be collateral damage when the marriage falls apart. She is going round telling people that the husband has HIV/AIDS hoping it will deter the women from approaching him. It even pisses me off that she has taken up using me as an alibi whenever she goes on her rendezvous. But due to the bros before hoes (in my case chiqs before sticks) stupid rule I cannot report her shenanigans to her husband.

If you have been watching the way politicians are jumping from one party to another, you will see how bitterness has turned some of them into whingeing idiots. They haven’t let go of the fact that the people they had depended on opted to join other parties. I have also noticed when some sniveling politicians are asked why they are vying for presidency they say “to stop R.A.O from becoming the president”. I don’t even think they know how ridiculous they sound. Another pundit was asked, “Who do you think will be president”, his answer “I don’t know, but R.A.O won’t be president”.

They are so consumed with revenge and hate that it’s all they think about. Every funeral, homecoming or rally they attend their speech is about how much they hate the other person, its ludicrous. Instead of endearing themselves to the public by offering words of encouragement, they spend all the "airtime" they have on discussing R.A.O to their own detriment. R.A.O on the other hand takes the bait and replies by making fun of them. Although most of the time he doesn’t mention any names, we always know who is being dissed. This trading of insults which is usually aired on national television will end up being their undoing. So somebody left your party boo hoo, get over it! You always know in politics there are no permanent friends or permanent enemies, sooner or later someone will get ambitious and want more. I wish they would all borrow a leaf from Martha Karua who is too busy doing campaigns at the grass root level to be bothered by who did what to who and when. When she relieved some of her party members off their duties, who were not loyal, she moved on and hasn't mentioned them since. Why can't the rest do the same? gawd!

When you don’t like someone, don’t talk about them, AT ALL, because you give them free publicity. Let them disappear in the face of the earth, let them be forgotten. If you continue bad mouthing him/her you make them out to be martyrs and it may be counter productive as the public may end up sympathising with them and not you. After PEV in 2008 most voters are still tepid and really need the political aspirants to give them reasons why they should vote again. So while the voters are dithering over whether to vote or not, it wouldn’t hurt to take every opportunity to give them hope again.

Revenge, I suspect, is the very reason why you see people killing each other left right and centre in the world. Just because some people feels like the Lord or karma (depending on your religious persuasion) is taking too long.

The thing about revenge is it may land you prison or worse death. It clouds your judgement so much that all you see is your pain and how you so much want to hurt the person who pissed you off. It so crippling that it can affect your life and perception of reality. Like this young lady who does not see how being mad at someone who is dead and cannot defend himself is really sad and that the only person she is hurting is herself. She hasn’t even had the time to mourn his death because I am sure deep down in that heart of hers she loves her father.

So before you go on that revenge mission think twice because it may come back to bite you in the kaboose. That is if it doesn’t kill you first!