If you are eating... stop reading...if you haven't eaten, go eat first... trust me, its for your own good!
I have always known that urine is used to
reduce the sting of jellyfish. During the struggle for independence in Kenya,
the freedom fighters, I am told, used their urine to clean their wounds while
hiding in the forest as there were no doctors around. In dry areas where water is scarce, people usually drink
their urine too just to stay alive. These are the only occasions when I understand
(not condone) why people “harvest” and ingest their urine. It's fighting for survival. Its either you use the piss or suffer from excruciating pain. Its a no brainer really.
But now my friend tells me that ingesting
my own urine actually has health benefits. He even has a fancy name for it-
Urine Therapy. According to the genius it cures a myriad of diseases such as
colitis, amoebic dysentery, hepatitis etc as well as boosting my immunity.
All
these diseases? wow- sounds too good to be true huh?
But i wasn't buying it.
When he noticed that I wasn’t convinced, he
offered to drink his in front of me as proof. He actually wanted to harvest it
as I watch to make me a believer. Just when you think you have seen it all...
This
is why; I think I really need to change friends already.
Just the thought of taking a swig of my own
piss makes me retch. Blegh! It’s my body reject for crying out loud. If it were
important; my body would have absorbed it already. What are you going to ask me
to do next? Eat my doodie?
So I decided to ask doctor Google and the revelations that I came about are simply beggars belief. Urine therapy adherents argue that Urine is
not waste but rather a by product of blood filtration. Apparently all the body
rejects and toxins go out via solid waste. Therefore urine is water mixed with
minerals, antibodies, hormones, nutrients and urea making it useful to ingest
back into the body.
I think you may want to grab a seat for
this one. Not only are people drinking it but they smear it on their skin to
alleviate skin problems such as acne, calluses, athletes’ foot, eczema.
Me,
walk around reeking of urine, Ughhhh!
There are even special instructions for
taking this elixir of life. It should be preferably “harvested” in the morning.
The best sample should be mid stream urine i.e. you let a few drops to flow
then place your harvester mid-stream. And... oh! don’t forget to wash your hoo
haa first. I mean we don’t want our “drink” to be funky, do we now?
Now for the skin, it has to be rich in
ammonia hence the need to use old urine. You harvest it and let it marinate for
3-4 days. You can then apply generously to the affected area, spray or if you
like mix it with your favourite body lotion, aftershave, hairspray, moisturizer
or cream. But please, try to introduce this elixir of youth gradually to your
body. Like say diluting it with water to reduce the concentration. You know too
much of a new good thing can’t be good for you now!
The drinking of urine has spread so much
that more and more people are doing it all over the world; from India, Mexico, America,
China, France and yes even Kenya.
(next
time you go to someone’s house look out for that bedpan in there.lol)
I was even more
appalled to find out that there are even celebrities who actually swear by it.
What broke my heart was when I found out that my one of my favourite writers,
J.D. Salinger who wrote ‘the catcher in the rye’ also believed in the potency
of drinking urine.
Oh the humanity *places the back of right hand on the
forehead*
Just when I was reeling from this new bit
of information, I find out that there are people who are going around misquoting
bible to convince people to imbibe their piss.smh! Now that’s just wrong!
"Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well." – Proverbs 5:15
“...out of the belly shall flow rivers
of living water”. - John 7:38
I’m guessing they haven’t read the dire
consequences that will face anyone who dares to add or subtract anything from
the already written word of God in the book of Revelations.
We have other Urine therapy enthusiast
blogging about it with great titles like
- Urine, nature’s elixir
- The wonders of urine therapy
- Natural remedy
- Healing urine therapy
... and many other euphemisms to make it
less vile. One even confessed to having worked his way up to drinking SIX
CUPS??? WOW!
When they add the fact that it anti-aging
and anti-obesity, you know some women will definitely get on board. I seriously
don’t get why people don’t want to embrace aging. We all going to get old and
die at some point, why fight the inevitable? I mean it’s not like taking
copious amounts of urine is going to bring back your youth or make you live
forever. It won’t stop you from being hit by a truck or chocking on your food,
if you get my drift.
When you use great marketing language, you
can make people do almost anything, I tell you!
When I peeked at some chat rooms, I was
even amused at the new recruits asking questions such as
“how much should i
take”
“What is the dose?”
“Can I drink it while pregnant?”
“Can it help my erectile dysfunction?”(woiye)
“Should I give infants?”
“Can it help falling or thinning hair?”
“I’m HIV positive, can I drink mine?”(woiye)
“Can I take them while on drugs? “
Like they are actually considering it. I’m
sorry but I really don’t get it, I really don’t. Forget even the taste. Its the process of "harvesting" is the one which gives me even more grief. I remember a few days ago I was at the hospital where I was asked to give a urine sample. You would think they would give me a potty sized cup but nooo...its a tiny cup which am expected to carry the liquid. It didn't help that I was on my periods- I dont need to tell you how the whole fiasco ended.
Who knows, soon we will be having bed pans
in the kitchen. Dropping ice cubes in the urine. Taking it shaken not stirred. Having urine cocktail, you know adding some chocolate or strawberry to it. Just
talking about it makes me want to heave...
I think I will stick to the succulent
fruits and vegetables plus my mineral water as a source of fluid in my system.
Urine is just too much for my palate. I think I will pass on urine *the pun so
intended*
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