my take on dowry payment/bride price

dowry/brideprice/lobolla/Mahr/Chulo ayie/mahari

A few months ago a lady came forward and announced that she expects the man of her dreams to pay one million as her bride price as she is well educated.(Just when you think we are making progress in the gender equality movement some one comes forward and makes this disgusting proclamations and undo the progress we have made as a society.) There was an uproar in the social networks with people calling her names and she quickly disappeared as fast as she had appeared.

The incident angered the Kenyan Bachelors. I am told there's even a movement (Kenya Dowry Reformation Movement) that seeks to abolish the paying of dowry. This is because some greedy parents are abusing it to enrich themselves. In my village a man was unable to raise the impossible dowry the Bride's parents were asking for. The man went away dejected and the lady committed suicide. so sad!

...and what is this garbage that some parents want compensation for taking their daughter to school as if the grooms parents didn't work equally as hard to educate their son. I remember joking to some guy that "mimi ni mtoto wa wenyewe" and he polite me asked me "kama yeye sio mtoto wa mtu pia". The idea of someone wanting compensation for taking care of their flesh and blood is really appalling and those parents ought to be ashamed of their selves.This mentality has made some men mistreat their wives because they feel like they bought something and can use as they wish.

The only time i will support the payment of dowry is if its used as a way to unite the two families, and also if its not coerced and the groom is given room to give what he is comfortable giving. Its supposed to be a token not a time for the groom to break the bank. Its not a price tag on the woman. I mean if you take all his money what will he use to feed the bride?

Just as the ring symbolizes unity between two people getting married so does the dowry ceremony to the two families. This ceremony gives the groom a chance to really see the family he is getting into and the brides family is able to see that the suitor is able to take care of his wife and the children who are yet to be born.Its a symbol of sincerity and good faith that brings together the two families

I would encourage the ladies too when you go to visit your husband's side carry a token to as a sign of good faith too. No one has to know about it though.lol.