if you go,please stay gone

So I was talking to my sister a couple of days ago and she was going on and on about how one of her best friends who started acting all funny all of a sudden. Let me elaborate…you see this friend stopped picking her calls or replying texts and gave excuses whenever she invited her out. At first she had brushed it off and made excuses for her thinking that maybe school work was weighing her down or maybe she is going through something and needed space. So she decided to give her sometime to work out her issues.

When a few days had passed by without her calling, she decided to be the bigger man (read woman) and call. Nothing in the world would have prepared her for the unprintable words that came out of the friend’s mouth. She didn’t actually give me a whole lot of details but from the look on her face I could tell she was really hurt. All she wanted to know was what she had done that was so bad that she could not be forgiven. This is the person they had grown up with, talked about anything under the sun, knew all her dark secrets. Even I found this hard to believe because I knew the friend . I tried prodding her and asking how the last conversation went or if she saw any signs. She told me she didn’t see it coming at all.

Wait! It doesn’t end there. A few days ago the friend shows up. No apologies, no explanation no nothing. What got my goats was that she expected they would pick from where they had left just like that. What arrogancy! How dare she think she can waltz into somebody s life just like that? My sister still hasn’t told me how she intends to handle it and frankly I really don’t want to know because its not about me…it never was.(By now you know I have this habit of getting into stuff that ain't my business. It s like a disease if you will. I don’t really see myself going to loliondo anytime soon.lol)

My sisters scenario reminded me of someone who was my friend last year and went AWOL on me too (explains why my sisters story has touched me so). He Stopped calling, emailing…generally cut off all communication with me. When I finally swallowed my huge pride (damn near chocked on it) I called him to ask what was up with … He gave me the im-trying-to -find–myself bull, and how he wanted to be a better person (And he couldn’t do that with me around?). I swear I felt like Lucifer, you would think as friend he would have tried to make the exit as painful as possible for me or at least not blame me for his actions. I also blamed myself for every thing and thought that if I tweaked a few areas of my character maybe he would come back. So Being the good friend that I am I respected his space and stayed away.

Earlier last month the genius had the gull to call me to meet over lunch and catch up. That he had missed me and we that should hang out. That he was going through some rough time(as if my life is perfect). What chaffed my ass was he tried guilt trip me into taking him back, seriously! Where do this people come from(I swear I know how to pick em) .I mean if your going to win me over you have to come better than that. Its like he had thought my life was on pause when he left and I hadn’t moved on and he could later return to unpause it(if theres such a word like that)

Yes you guessed it..I declined. Thing is my heart is not like a welcome-home door mat. You do not come in and go out as you please. You do not become my friend when its convenient for you. Being a friend is not part time its all the time, every time, overtime (remember that song). Well maybe he should have thought about it before he left. Actually after he left I made peace with myself and let go. I have no problem with him leaving it’s the coming back that squeezes my lemons(I swear I don’t know where I get this phrases).

If your going to leave someone please leave and stay gone. Don't come back kuguzishia mtu kidonda. Its not cool. Now he has moved to sending me emails and calling me with private numbers and very soon if he doesn’t stop i'm going to have to get that restraining order