I was blog whoring a few days ago when I came a cross a post
by an irate young man. From what I gathered this young man used to be a man
whore then decided to change his ways- which is commendable if you ask me. Now the
trouble is that people around him don’t believe that he has really changed.
They keep teasing him and giving him a time frame in which they expect him to go
back to his old ways. Every time they see him with a woman they assume it’s
another conquest which scares away the potential girlfriends. And from his
angry post I’m pretty sure he has had enough.
Now I am not surprised at how people around him are treating
him, I’m surprised at how in his mind he assumed he would just segue from a
philandering ass to a good boy just like that and all would be forgiven. He
thought there would be a long line of people waiting to pat him on the back or
give him glucose or some shit like that for seeing the light. Like we they going to forget all the lies, broken
promises and trail of broken hearts he left in his wake. All the abortions he paid for and the
marriages he ruined. The illegitimate kids whose child support he absconds
every month. Ati his guy friends were going to forget how he used to brag about
how he could get any chiq he wanted.
If like me you have effed up big time in the past, you very
well know that the consequences are invariably there. Some mistakes you can
take back but most you can’t. I’m talking alcoholism, adultery, criminal
activities etc. Do not blame the people around you for being suspicious of your
intentions. It’s very hard to break some habits and even harder for people to
believe one can change. For example when the police are looking for any
criminal who is fresh out they always go to his old hiding place or look up his
old mates. It’s just one of those things that make you understand how rare it
is to find people change for the better. I remember in the TV series The Unit one man was asked if he
believes people can change and he replied, “I don’t believe it but I've seen
it. Meaning even after seeing people change right before his eye he still doesn't
believe it.
The hard part is not even shedding off the bad boy image,
its trying to convince the people around you- especially the ones you have
hurt- that you have really changed. When you have a past it doesn't go away.
The secret is to concentrate on living your life and letting your actions speak
for you. Stop trying to win over your critics and stay on the straight and
narrow. Live your life and forget the naysayers. Not everyone is going to be
your cheer leader or excited about your new path. It may require you to lose
some of your old friends who are all up in your ear telling you what to do.
The ones you have hurt may forgive you but not necessarily
forget. Your past mistake could be that elephant in the room which some may use
as a weapon when they want to hurt you. Proving yourself especially after you
have broken some promises in the past is both tiring and pointless. You can
talk till your blue in the face but it still won’t mean shit. If you have watched the movie Transit you can see how a mistake a
father did in the past almost cost him his family. The character gets involved
into a mistaken identity scenario and when he tries to explain his wife doesn't
believe him and it almost gets them all killed.
Be ready for there are some who will throw it in your face
that you messed up. Don’t let it deter you or make you get off the wagon. Now
go forth and do good and for crying out loud stop trying to explain yourself!
